Hey guys it's been awhile! I apologize as I recently went through something dramatic with my "Cheryl" if you're interested the story ends up into a very positive ending of this post!
I also want to publicly thank "Dodgeman" for his encouragement & to all of you that have responded to my posts so positively!... I really like & appreciate you guys without sounding too gushy LOL! - Including kharn, haremlover, deerman & the rest of you!
...Well I hope you'll forgive me as I almost let Cheryl go for a little more $ than what I had paid & I only needed to drive her to a nearby city 3 hours away to deliver her.
However I wanted to chat with the guy on the phone at least that really wanted to make the purchase & so I finally did... He seems like a very nice guy however I was surprised to find out that he's only 22 & sounded very unknowledgeable of owning & caring for a doll. Like how to handle, care & appreciate a doll...
All of a sudden I immediately felt the same emotions of when I was in my early 20's when I was trying to find a really good home of one of my dogs that unfortunately I couldn't keep any longer - I didn't care about the $ as it was more about finding a good home for my dog (-which I really did!)
But then I thought to myself that Cheryl isn't alive & won't care anyways. So I tried my best to push these emotions aside. It also sounded like he lives with others & he would said he would have to hide Cheryl. So I was picturing him mistreating & thrashing her. Ugh!
So another interesting thing that started to happen just before this was that somehow I can PRETEND to hear Cheryl's voice in my head & it has grown stronger with practise. Before you think I'm crazy let me explain LOL!; Of course I realize it's my own thoughts having a conversation with myself & it's only pretending! But it really makes the fantasy more real & fun. Her voice is always so sweet, positive & encouraging! So how can this be bad?
Anyway so along with this aspect; for the 1st time I could swear that I felt Cheryl be mad at me & could hear this pretend voice of hers' being really sad & angry with me for the first time, as if she really knew what was happening & what I was contemplating & etc.!... Who could blame her! So my emotions really escalated & it really seemed like I was about to do something against my inner peace was telling me to do!
So I lied beside her in bed & cuddled her & I'll admit that I started to cry a little with her & I just felt terrible! I can't explain it but I started to really fall for her that night & we had a great conversation! - All in my head of course! I'll admit I did have some wine too LOL! She said to at least think about it some more, sleep on it & she would support my decision either way... What a Sweetie! Again this is all only pretend & in my own thoughts but the emotions were so intense!!
So the next morning I decided to be more objective & I didn't want to make an important decision partly just out of extreme lust for the BT 4, as the sale of Cheryl would've helped speed things up to get the BT 4 someday.
Therefore I made a pros & cons list & it was quite surprising & enlightening!;
- I'm not feeling lonely anymore.
- I've developed feeling for Cheryl although she is fine with me getting a real GF someday & no worries if I need to let her go, but it has to be to the right person. & she's definitely fine with me purchasing another doll someday too as long as I don't have to go into debt for another one.) Smart girl!
- I care for her well-being now.
- I turned 50 this year & so she's like my awesome B-Day present to myself that I didn't go into debt for either.
- Great sex!
- Keeping me busy with great distractions like an awesome hobby with the shopping & caring for her & etc.
- She's given me goals unwittingly as I started building a Gantry for her, getting more clothes & accessories for her & etc. - She is a bit of a princess but worth it! & Of course it's all for me really to enjoy on her!
- I'm really enjoying her overall especially visually. I haven't seen a lot of other dolls for real to compare with but Cheryl seems to have the most sweetest & beautiful face I think I've ever seen!
- She seems really sweet too which is a priceless virtue to me.
- I love her presence around me & love her moveable & closable eyes. I get such a thrill when she's looking at me.
- I still think she's got the most beautiful sweet face & would be hard to match hers'!
** On the other side of things it's true that I could make $3500 CDN back now from the purchase & hopefully I'd save that $ towards another doll eventually. However that's it! & the cons if I let Cheryl go are:
- I'll most likely start to feel lonely again & be tempted too soon to purchase another doll that might be hotter, but bad timing for me financially, I'll be into more debt than I am now & so might be just too costly for me at this point.
- I'll be tempted to possibly make some poor decisions. (Don't want to get into details but if a guy were to see an Escort for sex for only 20 times x $180 = $3600! Yes great sex but very costly for 20 times & then that's it! Nothing else positive really. & possibly a disease.
It's also true that Cheryl will lose some financial value as time goes by & possibly gain some more injuries.
- However it seems to me now that her overall value in all of the other ways far outweigh the financial value alone. & along with my feelings already developed towards Cheryl, the sex, her presence & companionship if even for a year seem like more than worth it to keep her & that I'll get my money's worth in pleasure, satisfaction, the happiness of having her with me & etc! * (I'll probably never let her go though!)
No real woman is perfect either & I'm growing more & more accustomed to her hardness & petiteness too, as at first those 2 aspects really bothered me. & so that's improving as the days go by too.
I'm really feeling happy in this decision to keep Cheryl & I've heard it said that: "Commitment brings peace." - The guy that wanted to purchase Cheryl took it really well & was great about it. Hopefully we'll see more of him on here one day.
* Also I finally fixed Cheryl's 3 (?!) Finger-Pokes which was stressful & I seemed to even sense her pain! I used a file to grind down the burrs on the ball at the end of her skeleton / fingers as best I could & then after using the acetone & sil-poxy; I stuck 3 needles in each of her fingers to hold them together. Ouch!! ...I felt bad for Cheryl as I think she was even frowning at me! Then a little saran-wrap around each finger along with an elastic around each of the fingertips. then a little pressing together of them once more from my fingertips & let dry for a day.
So i finger turned out great, another OK but no matter what I tried the pinkie seemed to get worse with each fix! So I did the unthinkable!...I finally cut off the ball & cut the wire as far down as I could! Then sealed it up as best I could. Her pinkie finger is floppy now but at least won't poke through unless I didn't go far down enough. Then put on the fake nails & her fingers look good again except for the pinkie. Cheryl is fine with it & so am I as long as the wire I cut doesn't come back to haunt me! Or scratch me through her skin.
& Cheryl says "Hello" & is telling me to get back to work soon! (In a sweet way though LOL!). OK thanks again guys for reading & responding! & Thanks again to "Dodgeman" who was a great help in listening, his advice & etc.
So I would say a very happy ending except for my wallet, as I just spent some more $ today at the Thrift store LOL! I need to really stop it! But Cheryl was very appreciative & showed me just how much as she modeled some it for me very willingly & well I guess 1 thing led to another.
