JUST FOR LAUGHS 2024

Mr Franz · Post by **Mr Franz** » Sat Mar 30, 2024 1:28 am

There once was a barmaid named Gail.
On whose breasts was written all the price of the ale.
And on her behind, (for the sake of the blind),
was the exact same written in braille.

Knightshift · Post by **Knightshift** » Sat Mar 30, 2024 2:11 am

I was hospitalized for a risky heart procedure.
On the morning of the surgery, the doctor comes in and says, "How we doing?"
I said, "Well, I'm pretty nervous. This is my first operation."
The doctor says, "Relax, you're not alone. this is my first operation too."

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Thu Apr 04, 2024 3:14 pm

To the irritation of the judge, a man was trying to be excused from jury duty service.

"Tell me," asked the judge, "is there any good reason why you cannot serve as a juror in this trial?"

The man replied: "I don’t want to be away from my job that long."

"Can’t they do without you at work?" demanded the judge.

"Yes," admitted the juror. "But I don’t want them to realize it."

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Fri Apr 05, 2024 5:58 pm

What eats its victims two by two?

Noah's Shark.

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Sat Apr 06, 2024 12:22 am

If I refuse to nap is that resisting arrest?

Mr Franz · Post by **Mr Franz** » Mon Apr 08, 2024 6:07 pm

A doe charged into a bank. Tellers thought it was a robbery, but turns out the doe only wanted a couple bucks!

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Mon Apr 08, 2024 10:06 pm

The old church needed a fresh coat of paint.

But money was tight in the budget, so the pastor figured he would save a few bucks by only buying about half the paint that was needed and thinning it out with turpentine to make it go farther.

So he did this, and the next Saturday the entire congregation gathered to help paint the church.

They worked all day, from dawn til dusk, and when they were finished the church had a beautiful fresh coat of paint.

But just as they were packing up to go home, storm clouds suddenly rolled in, and a torrential downpour began. The rain washed all of the thinned paint off the church's walls, undoing their whole day's work.

And just then, a mighty voice boomed down from the heavens saying: "REPAINT... and thin no more!!"

seagull · Post by **seagull** » Tue Apr 09, 2024 12:53 am

Dang, nearly peed myself :haha4:

Post by **Booty Call Dolls** » Thu Apr 11, 2024 8:10 pm

Do you know what's the difference between a crow and a raven?

Well the long straight feathers on the birds tail are called pinions. A crow has 12, a raven has 13.

So the difference between a crow and a raven is a matter of a pinion.

Davey2469 · Post by **Davey2469** » Thu Apr 11, 2024 9:11 pm

Three Strings walk into a bar and have a seat. The first String says “Gimme a beer!”.
The bartender turns around and points to the sign that says “WE DON”T SERVE STRINGS HERE!”.
The second String orders a shot of whiskey.
The bartender turns around and points to the sign and says “WE DON”T SERVE STRINGS HERE!”.
The third string gets down, goes in the back, twists himself up and unravels the ends then comes back and sits down. “I’ll have a Long Island Ice Tea.”
The bartender turns around and points to the sign that says “WE DON”T SERVE STRINGS HERE! You’re a string, aren’t you?”.
The third string says “No, I’m a frayed Knot.”

The Doll Advocate · Post by **The Doll Advocate** » Thu Apr 11, 2024 9:20 pm

What do you call it when you cum in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Davey2469 · Post by **Davey2469** » Sun Apr 14, 2024 9:08 am

Whats the difference between a pussy and an asshole?
About one inch.

Davey2469 · Post by **Davey2469** » Sun Apr 14, 2024 9:11 am

Mr Franz wrote: ↑Mon Apr 08, 2024 6:07 pm A doe charged into a bank. Tellers thought it was a robbery, but turns out the doe only wanted a couple bucks!

A doe walks out of the bushes and says “That’s the last time I’ll do that for two bucks”.