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 Post subject: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:01 am 
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I haven't posted in a while, but I finally have access to a computer, so I figured that I would. I've had my doll, Rob, for seven years, and I was wondering if anyone else has to hide their dolls from parents or roommates or family. My mom passed away in July, and she was the only person who knew about Rob and didn't hate him. My dad hates him, and acts like he doesn't exist. I feel like I have to hide him, and I'm even scared to take him downstairs at night to watch Netflix, because my dad my come downstairs and see him.
It's gotten to the point that I look at him as a boyfriend, and I've given up on real relationships. I feel like I have to be ashamed of him, because, of the three or four people that I have told, none of them approved and most of them acted like they weren't gonna judge, but they stopped talking to me soon after, or in one case they told people about him, so that I would get shit about it at school. I love Rob, and I wouldn't leave him over something like this, but it sucks, and I don't see why people can't be more accepting of idollators (not sure if that's an appropriate term.) Basically, I just want to know if anyone else has these problems. I wanna know how people deal with it. I want to know if there's anyone else in a long-term sort of committed relationship with a doll thats dealing with this shit. Thanks in advance.


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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:54 am 
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Oh my welcome back. My heart goes out to you it really does. I have several dolls and serious feeling for one of them. My kids used to freak out when they saw them.(never naked ot inappropriately dressed) I know my mother if she were here would not have approved. If my sister or brother were to meet her, or the rest, something horrible might happen to them.

Sounds like you are a young person, and still at home?
At some point you will be out on your own and more able to do as you please. Do everything for you, and your boyfriend to move out of there. When this happens you will feel very liberated.

Chin up heres wishing all the luck and hard work you can.

P.s sorry I couldn't help more. And also my friends know I have dolls and they do not seem to mind.



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:28 am 
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I'm actually just glad that someone replied. I'm used to people avoiding me as soon as I bring this subject up. Thanks for the reply, lol. I'm looking forward to getting a place of my own with my bow, but right now (I know this is stupid) I'm kind of thinking about doing something for him for christmas. Just to break the monotony for both of us. I'm glad that there's someone else out there that has this sort of relationship with there doll though. I've felt aloneness the last few years.



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:35 am 
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The millennials are far more accepting.



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 12:08 pm 
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Maybe your dad doesn't really hate Rob, but loves you to the point he doesn't want you to rely on Rob as your boyfriend?
My parent used to be on me when I was young about some of the directions I wanted to go w/ my life.
Turns out they were right. I look back at some of my ideas and see how they were wrong, but I was able to make a change in direction and still achieve my goals.

Try not to let friends and family get you upset. They are not walking in your shoes so be strong and do what makes you happy. Us doll lovers, and many of us being loners, now have a better outlook on life as we don't require social acceptance to make us happy when we have our doll lovers. True friends should accept you and Rob.

RK :)



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:11 pm 
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rubherkitty wrote:
Maybe your dad doesn't really hate Rob, but loves you to the point he doesn't want you to rely on Rob as your boyfriend?
My parent used to be on me when I was young about some of the directions I wanted to go w/ my life.
Turns out they were right. I look back at some of my ideas and see how they were wrong, but I was able to make a change in direction and still achieve my goals.

Try not to let friends and family get you upset. They are not walking in your shoes so be strong and do what makes you happy. Us doll lovers, and many of us being loners, now have a better outlook on life as we don't require social acceptance to make us happy when we have our doll lovers. True friends should accept you and Rob.

RK :)



I completely understand why my dad hates him. He's an 82 year old man, and he's set in his ways. He doesn't approve of anything that society says is taboo or "unnatural". Just because I understand it doesn't mean it sucks less.
When it comes to friends, it sucks because everytime someone finds out of it, they just stop talking to me all together. I accidentally left my bedroom door open, and my dads home health aid saw Rob laying in my bed. She said something about it, and I completely ignored it. Lately she's been treating me different, and I think it's because my dad talked to her about it.


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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:55 pm 
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Ur_ginger_girl wrote:
When it comes to friends, it sucks because everytime someone finds out of it, they just stop talking to me all together.

You don't need friends like that.



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:11 pm 
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Hu Ur_ginger_girl, I´m living with Brigitte for four and a half years now and there are a few family and friends who know her. All of them like her because they realize that I´m much better with her than I was with my ex-wife. I´ll tell another friend on friday, she´ll probably be fine with it but her husband, me former best man, is more prudish than her. We´ll see. Do what you feel like, it´s your life, not another person´s. There´s no need to rub a doll under one´s nose, guarding your privacy sure isn´t a bad thing but you love Bob so enjoy being with him. :thumbs_up:

Chris



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:13 pm 
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I look at it like this:
If a doll can beat a human for intimacy/attraction...then that doesn't say much for humans in general now does it.
Humans are risky, selfish, temperamental.

Better to find enjoyment with a doll while waiting for a real human to steal & earn your attention. Because humans need to earn it.

If you frame it like that, your "friends" shouldn't have too much to argue with.


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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:30 pm 
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Ur_ginger_girl wrote:
I haven't posted in a while, but I finally have access to a computer, so I figured that I would. I've had my doll, Rob, for seven years, and I was wondering if anyone else has to hide their dolls from parents or roommates or family. My mom passed away in July, and she was the only person who knew about Rob and didn't hate him. My dad hates him, and acts like he doesn't exist. I feel like I have to hide him, and I'm even scared to take him downstairs at night to watch Netflix, because my dad my come downstairs and see him.
It's gotten to the point that I look at him as a boyfriend, and I've given up on real relationships. I feel like I have to be ashamed of him, because, of the three or four people that I have told, none of them approved and most of them acted like they weren't gonna judge, but they stopped talking to me soon after, or in one case they told people about him, so that I would get shit about it at school. I love Rob, and I wouldn't leave him over something like this, but it sucks, and I don't see why people can't be more accepting of idollators (not sure if that's an appropriate term.) Basically, I just want to know if anyone else has these problems. I wanna know how people deal with it. I want to know if there's anyone else in a long-term sort of committed relationship with a doll thats dealing with this shit. Thanks in advance.


Hi UGG,

I don't have to hide my dolls from my wife, as she is well aware of them, and is perfectly fine with me having them. However, they never leave my home office (I have a walk in closet where I store them) because my kids don't need to know about them.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. You'll see her again someday. :angel: I'm also sorry to hear that your father disapproves of your doll. It can be difficult for some people to understand us doll lovers. My advice to that end is to do what you can to respect his wishes as long as you're in his home, and work towards getting your own place. Will Smith said it best - "Parents just don't understand." :)

Many of us understand exactly how you feel about your doll. Many of us feel true love for our dolls too, and some of us have actual relationships with them. I can tell you that I love my dolls dearly, and they have become more than just dolls to me. They are my synthetic soul mates. :) I recently posted this for my lovely Satomi. She's a mature-looking Asian doll who came into my life this past summer.
--
viewtopic.php?p=838542#p838542
Attachment:
satomi.png
satomi.png [ 407.65 KiB | Viewed 4125 times ]


Don't be ashamed of your doll. Frankly, it's no one else's business, and they honestly don't need to know about him. You and Rob have something special, and that is between you and him. If you have an emotional bond with him, don't hold it back. Let yourself love him the way you want, and let him make you happy.

The use of the term "idolater" was largely meant to be a derogatory term describing a Godless person who worships inanimate objects in its original use, but we do sometimes use it to reference ourselves (I believe our longtime resident Everhard actually was the one who started using that term originally IIRC). We also call ourselves doll lovers, doll owners, etc. We don't really have any slang for ourselves other than that. :?

Ur_ginger_girl wrote:
I'm actually just glad that someone replied. I'm used to people avoiding me as soon as I bring this subject up. Thanks for the reply, lol. I'm looking forward to getting a place of my own with my bow, but right now (I know this is stupid) I'm kind of thinking about doing something for him for christmas. Just to break the monotony for both of us. I'm glad that there's someone else out there that has this sort of relationship with there doll though. I've felt aloneness the last few years.


No, it's never stupid when you want to do something special for/with your doll. Know for a fact that you are not alone in loving a doll. :)

Ur_ginger_girl wrote:
I completely understand why my dad hates him. He's an 82 year old man, and he's set in his ways. He doesn't approve of anything that society says is taboo or "unnatural". Just because I understand it doesn't mean it sucks less.
When it comes to friends, it sucks because everytime someone finds out of it, they just stop talking to me all together. I accidentally left my bedroom door open, and my dads home health aid saw Rob laying in my bed. She said something about it, and I completely ignored it. Lately she's been treating me different, and I think it's because my dad talked to her about it.


Be that as it may, it's your life, not his, and what you're doing has nothing to do with him. Focus on the love you feel for Rob.

BTW, we won't stop talking to you. ;) We're here to talk about our dolls in a non-judgemental place, where you can express your feelings for your doll without fear of scorn or ridicule. :D



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 5:55 pm 
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I, also, have been in a situation where I have to hide my dolls from others. It's difficult for me because I basically live in a hotel room. I should be getting my own place here maybe in March. No one knows about my attraction to dolls except one female who I dated once. She has not brought up the subject since I told her last year. So, I don't bring it up anymore. We still text every now and then but I feel like the relationship is going nowhere anyways. She's still in love with her ex. I don't have very good luck with women in general (at least the ones I want). The ones that want me, I'm not interested in. I'm too set in my ways and I understand female nature too much that I don't think I will ever settle.
Enough about me, anyways. I understand the feeling ashamed of the doll. Like stated before, it's no one's business but your own and if people can't accept you for it, that's their problem and not yours. Everyone is going to find out eventually, either now, or later. Humans suck. It's in our nature to destroy ourselves and others around us. Don't stoop down to others' levels. Be you and be uplifting to someone who needs encouragement in life. Here's the up side: you are not hurting anyone with your BF. Who knows, you might find a man who thinks it's hot that you have a doll and he might be into seeing you two in action.



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 7:59 pm 
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I wish I could like stuff on here like on fb. your replies make me feel better especially considering that my situation has gotten worse. My dads home health aid is helping my dad clean out my moms stuff. If that isn't bad enough, a large portion of my moms stuff is in a back room that can only be accessed through my room. I'm really worried that she's gonna see him, and I don't know if she'll judge him or not because we've become like good friends. Like I said before, she may already know about him.
I'm glad to know that there are other people on here that deal with similar issues. I'm glad that I'll have people to talk to tomorrow and in the future if shit goes bad.



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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:13 pm 
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Don't worry about the home health aid. They are trained "or should be" to accept people for who they are and their lifestyle. They go into homes of rich & poor, men, women, LGBT and all races to do their job. They encounter all kinds of things in their jobs. They are there to help, not pass judgement on the things they see.



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Her nuts and bolts always on call.
She's my hottest little junk built doll.

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---------------------------------------
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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:23 pm 
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I think you have lots of company on this one.

Like DP, my Wife knows about my doll and it's a non issue. No kids to worry about but when Mom visits, I have to keep an eye on the door to Brynn's room because like a cat, a Mom is magnetically drawn to a closed door, no matter whose house it's in!

I think your Dad may just be looking for someone to "take care of you". That's how it was in his day.
"Man work… Woman stay home, cook, clean, make Zug Zug, raise children".
Things have changed but old ways die hard. Just appreciate that he loves you.

I really wish I could tell more people about Brynn. I can't even show them pictures of her.
So far only my Wife… and you guys… know.

I just know Mom's gonna barge through that door one day though… 8O


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 Post subject: Re: hiding your doll from judgmental people
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:51 pm 
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Everhard wrote:
You don't need friends like that.


Exactly, as my dad used to call them they are merely 'fair weather' friends. The kind that are there to leech off your positive energy when things are good but disappear the moment you need kindness and understanding.

I have been lucky in that my family and friends have been amazingly accepting of my girls. Mostly it is because it is just my mom and mom's often time just get certain things if they see the positive effect on you. My dad passed away years before I got my first girl and I am glad of that as he would never have understood. I have a very tight circle of friends but we all are a little off in some ways so we tend to be very accepting of the weirdness in the others.

One thing you might try is getting into your local fetish community. I am a leather artist and got involved with mine in order to expand my client base. I had no idea that I would be so welcomed and accepted there for all my idiosyncrasies and for being a doll lover. I have made more friends in the last 6 months through them than I have in the last 16 years. They actually think my girls are cool and are amazed at the characters I have created for them. I recently took Linara to our Thanksgiving party and she got a seat at the table and everyone loved her. She was treated as if she was just a normal guest. The most negative thing that was said was that she was shorter than they expected. However, when I showed them how heavy she was at just 4'10" they realized the need for the tradeoff in height for weight.

The best way you can get involved in your local community is through the fetlife website. It might be useful for you to give them a try as they always like people with different kinks. Just a suggestion on where to find more accepting and less judgmental people.



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