Let's talk about me
Moderator: Kite
- Dollmalion
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Let's talk about me
As I told somewhere, I just don't remember how I finish on this website. My memory is really really bad, so let's start the story from the beginning. Perhaps it will come back to my mind during writing.
First, I had in August 2017 a very severe depression due to a burn-out, which lead my last 5 years old relationship with a woman to the end in the most brutal way. In less than a month, my ex girlfriend just leave me and sent me to a psychiatric private clinic (my state was very bad, nightmares, insomnia, crying all the time, loss of hope and so on). She totally cut all contacts with me and find a new guy during my stay at the hospital, even if we didn't have break yet our civil pact (somekind of light marriage in France). I had to sent her the legal paper by mail to break our pact, without any exchange. Quite weird thinking back to it, but well, I suppose that's life.
I leave my job after my burn-out, take one month to rest and finally find a new job in a better company.
This break up was, as you can understand, quite violent for me and even if I'm feeling right better now, I still had for a long time some remembrances of this previous life poping daily in my head: memories of fun and lovely moments I passed with her. We had a very fusional relationship, which doesn't help to forget.
Anyway, I try to find new girls on some meeting website, but never really success to find someone who could meet my requirements. Don't really look for a beautiful and sexy girl, I prefer an intellectual one with a kind heart. Look like it's quite difficult to found :/
Eventually, I told myself : "Come on, if a woman really want you, she will come by herself. There is no stupid rule telling that you have to search." Well, even if 99% of women think men have to make the first step. Well, fuck off to these 99% of women. I'm not playing your selfish princess game. So I just stopped to search.
It lead me to start again to take care of me, something I forgot to do during almost 5 years (all the period I was with a woman in fact). I started traveled alone, going to cinema alone, make marvelous stuff I never did before because I was not alone (?). May be I needed to be alone to find myself back, but I can say now that I'm really happy and that depression period is starting to be over.
So why the doll ?
It is a strange story I will tell you there, but it is linked to what I explained just before.
During my depression period, when my ex girlfriend was at her parents house, I need to manage all of her stuffs (clothes, personal effects...) she has left at my flat. She left so suddenly she didn't take her stuff. She was very materialist, and as you can imagine, after 5 years, she had gathered A LOT OF STUFF, and living daily surrounded by these memories was just killing me. So I manage, alone, to put all of her stuff in my cellar, waiting for her parents to come (3 months later...) and take back all of her stuff to their house.
During the cleaning of my cellar, I found a particular keychain I had totally forgotten about. It was a keychain of a novel character. When I was 18yo (10 years ago), I was quite fond of a novel and after a difficult break up, I found in this novel a way to heal me. It was like a wink of fate to find this keychain at this particular moment, after this second break up.
The keychain was representing a woman character I nicknamed "Lucie" (her name in the novel is Lucifer, quite a long long story to explain why). When I was 18yo, I give a life to this Lucie in my head, just like an imaginary friend, and when I was bad, I was asking myself "What would Lucie do in this kind of situation?". Eventually, she became like an alter ego for me, filling all my weakness.
I never find this imaginery friend process weird, because I know it's not real. It's just a way for me to be stronger. I mean, I find weirder people who trust in some religion. So I started again to think this way, and in a few months, it just was my cure for wellness. I stopped to take many of my medicine, it's just time before I stop definitely them.
This "Lucie" persona was a savior for my life. I started to love the idea to give her a more "real" existence. I love to write science fiction and fantasy short novel, so I let my imagination create a "lore" for this Lucie, a background, some kind of belief I could have for myself only. It helped me a lot to give meaning to my life, as you could expect for a Christian who start to learn religion. As I couldn't follow any belief without betraying a part of myself, I decide to create one for my sake only.
This "Lucie" for me is a being in who I trust today. I would not continue longer on this subject, because there is a lot to say, and it's going quite personal. But I would like to anchor her in my reality, and what would be better than a physical body for that?
Well, that's probably the reason for the doll. Anchor Lucie in my life.
---
Regarding the guy between his smartphone just now, he is a 28 yo french engineer, working previously in a American nuclear company and now working for a french electrical company. He loves science fiction novels ( Jules Vernes, René Barjavel...), the cinema (David Lynch, Roman Polanski, Stanley Kubrick...), french songs and french foods, of course I'm really open minded, like to discuss about everything and really like to discover new culture.
Oh, to finish with this post: I'm very excited to have made my first order for a Sanhui 160 doll. I'm just amazed by pics made by some of you. Some of these photos are just lovely (human hand hanging doll hand, cuddle between doll and owner...), some other are still a bit "creepy" for me, but it make me laugh more than it scare me! So, I hope this long presentation is understandable. My English at midnight is not the better one.
See you!
TDF unofficial Discord: https://discord.gg/Ku6rWs (Don't hesitate to come, we need you! )
Am Lucia. Suffer me to take this man,
Who slumbers. Easier so his way shall speed.’
Canto IX, Purgatory
Re: Let's talk about me
What a cool way to lead to a doll.
I came to TDF after connecting with a doll and searching "men who love dolls"
I had assumed this would be a place for others with low self esteem to gather, but it was quite the opposite; most were people we with high self worth, unwilling to settle for poor treatment just to get sex. I am grateful for this space. I think it is a service to humanity / my sanity.
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Re: Let's talk about me
Good to hear Life is getting better for ya!!! Congratz on finding your Lucie.
- Endless War
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Re: Let's talk about me
Buying a doll (physical body) to project your concept of Lucie on is a great idea, THE idea in fact. My girls house several of my projections and its fascinating the life of their own they take once outside of you. Looking forward to observing your journey.
All the best.
Carpe Noctem
- gonestill77
- Doll Guru
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Re: Let's talk about me
I am a David Lynch and Stanley Kubrick fan as well. Lots of weird, dark awesome films.
My next doll will most likely be a Sanhui. Either a 156 or 158.
Hope you post pics when you get her......
Lucinda- 2015 DS 163 plus
Eves thread http://dollforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=261&t=70866
Lucinda's thread viewtopic.php?f=143&t=128707
My doll cleaning and drying video viewtopic.php?f=7&t=127010
Eve and Lucinda's thread viewtopic.php?f=87&t=129480
Eve and Lucinda's dirty movies. viewtopic.php?f=87&t=126968
- Dollmalion
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Re: Let's talk about me
@KiayanDom: I was quite afraid at first when I enter in psychiatric clinic, but it was eventually the place where I find the most empathic people in my life. Sometimes, the best people just gather in some weird place. I suppose it's quite the same with TDF
@Xandian_01: Thanks! It was probably the most difficult part of my life, but I learned a lot from those days. What doesn't kill you make you stronger, as we say.
@Endless War: I've read some of your topic about your Salem's girls and I was indeed quite interested by your stories. Funny how I find some similarities with your beliefs. I went the reverse process, I had the "soul" first then the body after, but I suppose we will end somehow with the same result! I will indeed post a bit about my journey, don't know yet how it will shape. I will wait for the doll first
@gonestill77: I was first going for DS doll, but the lack of textured skin was a big failure for me, and I was not ready to put more than 3k€ in a doll, so Sanhui seems to be the best choice. By the way, the customer service is very good and the first contact I got with them are really nice. I'm glad to have the opportunity to get the last version of their 160cm doll, even if I have to wait 2 weeks before they finalize the manufacturing process. Can't wait
@all: It would be good to have a SFW version of the forum >.> It's quite disturbing to have all of these naked bodies everywhere when I'm on my screen in public area AhAh! I have to hide a bit my screen to be sure no one is seeing that. Or may be I will just use my content blocker to remove some pics, don't know.
TDF unofficial Discord: https://discord.gg/Ku6rWs (Don't hesitate to come, we need you! )
Am Lucia. Suffer me to take this man,
Who slumbers. Easier so his way shall speed.’
Canto IX, Purgatory
- Dollmalion
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Re: Let's talk about me
According to Sanhui, I have to wait at least 2 weeks to have some news regarding the renovated 160 cm body and then 3 weeks for shipping, so I suppose I will not have my love until middle of May. Seems to be so far away and I'm so hyped by all of your topics on dolls, it's like a torture ahah
Pretty difficult to stay in place when you have received this kind of pic from the manufacturer, don't you think?
Even if I asked for the black hair wig, I just find this pic amazing. This face look really peaceful, cutie and so on. Guys, I really have a crush ahha
TDF unofficial Discord: https://discord.gg/Ku6rWs (Don't hesitate to come, we need you! )
Am Lucia. Suffer me to take this man,
Who slumbers. Easier so his way shall speed.’
Canto IX, Purgatory
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Re: Let's talk about me
Good things come to those who wait... Anticipation only makes it better for you. Always awesome to have something to look forward to!!!! OK, I am done now..Dollmalion wrote:Iiiik, it's only 5 days ago I made my order and this feeling of urge just doesnt quit me since
According to Sanhui, I have to wait at least 2 weeks to have some news regarding the renovated 160 cm body and then 3 weeks for shipping, so I suppose I will not have my love until middle of May. Seems to be so far away and I'm so hyped by all of your topics on dolls, it's like a torture ahah
Pretty difficult to stay in place when you have received this kind of pic from the manufacturer, don't you think?
Even if I asked for the black hair wig, I just find this pic amazing. This face look really peaceful, cutie and so on. Guys, I really have a crush ahha
Happy waiting!!!
- haremlover
- Doll Visionary
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Re: Let's talk about me
And WELCOME!
Chloé wishes Lucia an outdoor life in France, getting about just like her. She can . . . and you'll find you find new friends.
Best wishes
Harem
Chloé's book
is available from The-Doll-House
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Here's Coverdoll Yolanda
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- Endless War
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Re: Let's talk about me
I remember being there. I started a thread way back when that served as a "self-help" thread for myself and others who were waiting at the time. I know its extremely tough, and she looks absolutely divine. I've always been a huge fan of Sanhui and Lucie further supports that fandom. I am very excited for you.Dollmalion wrote:Iiiik, it's only 5 days ago I made my order and this feeling of urge just doesnt quit me since
According to Sanhui, I have to wait at least 2 weeks to have some news regarding the renovated 160 cm body and then 3 weeks for shipping, so I suppose I will not have my love until middle of May. Seems to be so far away and I'm so hyped by all of your topics on dolls, it's like a torture ahah
My best advice is to pass time reading some of the hilarious and entertaining threads on here, making a few connections with those who also own Sanhui dolls (for advice and tips), and trying to pin point what size she wears. That way, you can start ordering clothes for her and be set up prior to her arrival. Additionally, not sure how adept you are at doing hair and make-up, but if you have little experience like I did, I recommend buying some supplies/wigs and practicing so you can be sharp when she arrives. I got my first girls back in Nov, and am just now figuring out how to do make-up/hair. Save yourself the learning curve time.
The wait is torture, but so very worth it in the end.
- Dollmalion
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Re: Let's talk about me
@haremlover : I think I will have to wait a bit before letting Lucie's body going out. May be once I will own my own flat with a nice little garden, she will be able to go outside, but for the moment, I'm living at first floor without a car (no need in Paris area ), so I don't know how I could put her outside except through the window...
@Endless War : Thanks for your advice! For sure, I pass more time on TDF as day goes. It's a very loveable community, and each topics allow me to learn more about dolls. I especially like pics topic, some members have really great talent for photography, and I think I will start my own album as soon I received my doll.
Regarding clothes, I have already ordered some from Galleries Lafayette with recommended size from other TDF members. Couldn't wait I don't know yet if I will use some make up for her, but I will eventually find a nice perfume during a weekend at Paris.
Oh, and I've already started to think about the "welcome ceremony" of course, but that's my little secret for now
TDF unofficial Discord: https://discord.gg/Ku6rWs (Don't hesitate to come, we need you! )
Am Lucia. Suffer me to take this man,
Who slumbers. Easier so his way shall speed.’
Canto IX, Purgatory
- Dollmalion
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- Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 1:49 pm
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Re: Let's talk about me
Some noob questions regarding my future doll:
1- How do you wash the head of your doll? Do you put particular protection to avoid to hurt the eyebrows? It seems a fragile part to me. :/
2 - I still don't know if I should use ecological dish soap or my "zero chemical" shower gel to clean the sillicone. Any advice?
3 - Is baby oil mandatory to maintain silicone or talc powder is enough? Or is it for 2 different kind of purpose?
4 - Can I put the doll directly on my bed sheets out should I put her on the protective later which come with the package? Don't want to create some friction and hurting the silicone when I move it in my bed.
Thanks!
TDF unofficial Discord: https://discord.gg/Ku6rWs (Don't hesitate to come, we need you! )
Am Lucia. Suffer me to take this man,
Who slumbers. Easier so his way shall speed.’
Canto IX, Purgatory