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A little bit about me (Very long post)

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totlxtc
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A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by totlxtc »

Hey all,

Hope you are all well. First of all I would like to say this is one of the friendliest forums (I have been in many forums ranging from gaming, cars, motorsport, fleshlight I have ever visited the past week or so. I have found it very helpful and members certainly know their stuff. I feel confident in introducing myself and the story I have to tell about why I am here and ask a few questions.

OK, so this is not a sob story. It's not for sympathy - it's to explain how I got to where I am and if there are any members who have been in my situations and have any advice. So lets kick this off.

8 years ago I left my love of my life and the mother to my child. I was suffering from stress and depression. I became verbally abusive and hateful to her (I was NEVER physical). I did not do it on purpose, I loved the woman but the world around me was tough to bear. The only way I could see her happy and my wonderful daughter was to remove the problem...me.

8 years on we are best of friends. She is my family and we would do anything for each other. I love her, but as a family member, not a lover.

So thats where I was, and where I am...but there has been issues in the past 8 years...

After a couple of years after the split I started dating again. Things went well...for a while. That was till we got into the bedroom. One minute I was horny as hell...the next absolutely nothing. No fire in my belly, no animalistic sexual fury...NOTHING...Horny - 0 in a blink of an eye. My partners would feel they done something wrong, that they had turned me off. I had never experienced this and was unable to explain it as my previous relationships I was a very sexually active guy. We are not talking ED. The whole of me just turned off.

Now I was hitting my middle 30's and all sorts was going through my mind. Is it psychological? Medical? Is this what happens as you get older??? I would not find out for another 2 years.

Time carried on. Failed sexual relations carried on. I then started to struggle to walk, I gained weight (Not a big guy, went from 12st - 15st), always tired, headaches and a lack of libido. So off I popped to the docs.

After a few weeks and blood tests done I was called up urgently by the docs to come in. I was diagnosed with a sever under-active thyroid (Doesn't sound bad but I was a wreck) so much so I was not showing up on the charts. It took 18 months before I showed back up on the charts and further year before I was deemed on the right dose. But still I had no libido.

My last attempted relationship was 4 years ago. I was open to her and told her my issues and she said she will help. We even tried the good ol blue pill...with no luck at all. Sadly she just felt she was the one turning me off and I was not interested. I HATE upsetting people and this was the last straw as I liked her and it pained me to see her upset for something I was not in control of. I know it was medical but it was now becoming psychological. As a red blooded man its soul destroying to not be able to do what you want to do. So I concede...no more relationships.

Now this has been great!!! I am not a huge people person. I like my own company so I was quite happy. Up until the last few months...

Now I am no stranger to toys. My partner and I from 8 years ago had toys of our own. One of those was a Fleshlight and I thought it was amazing. So now I have decided to be on my tod I thought I would get another. Then Black Friday sales...another 4...and the next sales...another 6. And then finally a Fleshlight Launch. All of them are awesome! Cannot say a bad word. For sexual gratification TOP NOTCH! I did not use them often as like I said I barely have a libido so toys may come our once every 2 months...and that would need some porn stimulation. But there was something missing. Someone to hold, to cuddle, to touch. I am a very "touchy feely" person. This is where my curiosity came to getting a doll. I saw a program years ago on channel 5 in the UK about realistic love dolls and remembered them. I just feel it would be nice to have something to curl up to, hold at night without the fear of upsetting them when i dont "perform" or im "not in the mood". It would be nice to have something to pamper, "play" with and im pretty open minded and feel positive about the thought.

So I went around the interwebs and did a little research. I found this forum too and felt maybe if I told my story there might be others who have had the same experiences and if it has made an improvement in their lives?

I have found the doll I would get if I was to get one - WMDoll 166cm C with #273 head (very popular by the looks of it...and can see why!). I have seen it on a few sites and seen the issue with copies and cheap knock offs so some clarification from anyone would be nice.

The 2 sites I have found are:
http://www.siliconesexworld.com
and
http://www.the-doll-house.com


I'm sorry for the HUGE post. But without the backstory it is hard to explain where I am.

PS: I'm a MASSIVE gamer and huge Destiny fan with 1000's of hours logged since D1. I saw on a thread there was some Destiny fans around :thumbs_up:

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by ChaseroftheSun »

- [ ] Thanks for your story and sorry to hear about your health issues however you sound like you would be a good fit for the doll world. Nice thing about it is that it’s not like you can never date again however I have to admit that after my own failed relationships and nightmares in the dating world, I’m very thankful for my Kayla doll i& quite content without a real gif right now at least...She is my third doll and it’s amazing after even a short time I feel very close to her.. There are so many therapeutic benefits however at first it might seem a little strange but after awhile if you focus on all the benefits of your doll you’ll find that it can be extremely satisfying and fulfilling in a lot of different ways. It’s kind a like watching a good movie. If you focus on the TV itself and the fact that none of it’s real or the characters are not real and etc. then it will lose its appeal fast. However when you watch a good movie you & you don’t think about that or that it’s fictional you just get enticed by the great story & the fantasy and to me that’s kind’ve like the doll world. I don’t think about it anymore that Kayla is not alive physically however at times her realism is shocking along with my own emotions. But it’s good you’re doing research and getting the wrong doll can be a little disappointing as my first one was to me at least. It can be an expensive investment however if you’re a good fit for the doll world then it can be more than worth it. hope that helps. :)

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by totlxtc »

ChaseroftheSun wrote:- [ ] Thanks for your story and sorry to hear about your health issues however you sound like you would be a good fit for the doll world. Nice thing about it is that it’s not like you can never date again however I have to admit that after my own failed relationships and nightmares in the dating world, I’m very thankful for my Kayla doll i& quite content without a real gif right now at least...She is my third doll and it’s amazing after even a short time I feel very close to her.. There are so many therapeutic benefits however at first it might seem a little strange but after awhile if you focus on all the benefits of your doll you’ll find that it can be extremely satisfying and fulfilling in a lot of different ways. It’s kind a like watching a good movie. If you focus on the TV itself and the fact that none of it’s real or the characters are not real and etc. then it will lose its appeal fast. However when you watch a good movie you & you don’t think about that or that it’s fictional you just get enticed by the great story & the fantasy and to me that’s kind’ve like the doll world. I don’t think about it anymore that Kayla is not alive physically however at times her realism is shocking along with my own emotions. But it’s good you’re doing research and getting the wrong doll can be a little disappointing as my first one was to me at least. It can be an expensive investment however if you’re a good fit for the doll world then it can be more than worth it. hope that helps. :)
Thank you chaser. I really cannot see myself dating again. It's not a "poor old little me, I cant get a woman"...quite the opposite. Nor am I one of those types who hates on women. I love women! Most of my closest friends are female. I just do not want a relationship both down to my issues I have, past experiences and I guess I am set in my ways. It's quite funny as i have found myself looking at dolls not as a sexual toy or for gratification. More like having a companion...someone there...but not there...if that makes sense. Like I have said I have had toys and they scratched an inch very well. But they do not tick the "feelings" box. The one you can have like simply cuddling up in bed, tending to...stuff like that. I doing a lot of research about the dolls, looking after them, what to look out for etc so by the time I have made my decision in my mind to make the leap, I will know what I will be getting, where from, where she will live/stored and how to look after her.

I look forward to the journey it may take me.

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by setevoltas »

Welcome to the forum man! I'm glad you are getting back on the right track with your health. It sounds like it has been one hell of a journey, to say the least.

I would suggest contacting several TDF approved vendors, and figure out who you have the best rapport with. We all have our reasons for being "here", but I especially hope for you that your purchase and delivery process goes smoothly. It sounds like a doll could really keep you on the path to recovery.
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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by Broven »

Thanks for sharing your story, and welcome to TDF! Good to hear you're getting back on track with your health. Your relationship with your ex sounds much like my own. Financial stresses during our marriage led to lots of resentment and arguments. Since our divorce we are best friends. She's the one person I can talk to about anything. Great friends, crappy lovers.

I think a doll is going to be just the thing for you. I also have low libido (though not nearly so bad as what you describe), and dolls are perfect in that situation. They don't take it wrong when you aren't in the mood, and they're always ready when you are. The 166C is a great choice too. Beautiful sculpt, imo. :)

Anyway, Welcome!! :)

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by Nazario_Oldham »

Hello and welcome to TDF! Thanks for sharing your story. Good to hear your health is back.

A lot of good information, kind & helpful people in here.

I tell everyone, it took me 6 months of browsing
around and learning about dolls before I found the
perfect one!

Personally, Jeff with Booty Call Dolls is my vendor of choice and Doll Advisor.

Do feel free to catch me in chat and I'll be glad to help anyway I can.
Kindest Regards,
Naz

MY DOLLS
Jena - DollXES 125cm
Danika - SM 138d - viewtopic.php?t=160713

Doll #3 Zoey WM 140d Coming Spring 2023 :whistle:

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by theguyfromtoronto »

totlxtc wrote:Hey all,

Hope you are all well. First of all I would like to say this is one of the friendliest forums (I have been in many forums ranging from gaming, cars, motorsport, fleshlight I have ever visited the past week or so. I have found it very helpful and members certainly know their stuff. I feel confident in introducing myself and the story I have to tell about why I am here and ask a few questions.

OK, so this is not a sob story. It's not for sympathy - it's to explain how I got to where I am and if there are any members who have been in my situations and have any advice. So lets kick this off.

8 years ago I left my love of my life and the mother to my child. I was suffering from stress and depression. I became verbally abusive and hateful to her (I was NEVER physical). I did not do it on purpose, I loved the woman but the world around me was tough to bear. The only way I could see her happy and my wonderful daughter was to remove the problem...me.

8 years on we are best of friends. She is my family and we would do anything for each other. I love her, but as a family member, not a lover.

So thats where I was, and where I am...but there has been issues in the past 8 years...

After a couple of years after the split I started dating again. Things went well...for a while. That was till we got into the bedroom. One minute I was horny as hell...the next absolutely nothing. No fire in my belly, no animalistic sexual fury...NOTHING...Horny - 0 in a blink of an eye. My partners would feel they done something wrong, that they had turned me off. I had never experienced this and was unable to explain it as my previous relationships I was a very sexually active guy. We are not talking ED. The whole of me just turned off.

Now I was hitting my middle 30's and all sorts was going through my mind. Is it psychological? Medical? Is this what happens as you get older??? I would not find out for another 2 years.

Time carried on. Failed sexual relations carried on. I then started to struggle to walk, I gained weight (Not a big guy, went from 12st - 15st), always tired, headaches and a lack of libido. So off I popped to the docs.

After a few weeks and blood tests done I was called up urgently by the docs to come in. I was diagnosed with a sever under-active thyroid (Doesn't sound bad but I was a wreck) so much so I was not showing up on the charts. It took 18 months before I showed back up on the charts and further year before I was deemed on the right dose. But still I had no libido.

My last attempted relationship was 4 years ago. I was open to her and told her my issues and she said she will help. We even tried the good ol blue pill...with no luck at all. Sadly she just felt she was the one turning me off and I was not interested. I HATE upsetting people and this was the last straw as I liked her and it pained me to see her upset for something I was not in control of. I know it was medical but it was now becoming psychological. As a red blooded man its soul destroying to not be able to do what you want to do. So I concede...no more relationships.

Now this has been great!!! I am not a huge people person. I like my own company so I was quite happy. Up until the last few months...

Now I am no stranger to toys. My partner and I from 8 years ago had toys of our own. One of those was a Fleshlight and I thought it was amazing. So now I have decided to be on my tod I thought I would get another. Then Black Friday sales...another 4...and the next sales...another 6. And then finally a Fleshlight Launch. All of them are awesome! Cannot say a bad word. For sexual gratification TOP NOTCH! I did not use them often as like I said I barely have a libido so toys may come our once every 2 months...and that would need some porn stimulation. But there was something missing. Someone to hold, to cuddle, to touch. I am a very "touchy feely" person. This is where my curiosity came to getting a doll. I saw a program years ago on channel 5 in the UK about realistic love dolls and remembered them. I just feel it would be nice to have something to curl up to, hold at night without the fear of upsetting them when i dont "perform" or im "not in the mood". It would be nice to have something to pamper, "play" with and im pretty open minded and feel positive about the thought.

So I went around the interwebs and did a little research. I found this forum too and felt maybe if I told my story there might be others who have had the same experiences and if it has made an improvement in their lives?

I have found the doll I would get if I was to get one - WMDoll 166cm C with #273 head (very popular by the looks of it...and can see why!). I have seen it on a few sites and seen the issue with copies and cheap knock offs so some clarification from anyone would be nice.

The 2 sites I have found are:
http://www.siliconesexworld.com
and
http://www.the-doll-house.com


I'm sorry for the HUGE post. But without the backstory it is hard to explain where I am.

PS: I'm a MASSIVE gamer and huge Destiny fan with 1000's of hours logged since D1. I saw on a thread there was some Destiny fans around :thumbs_up:
@totlxtc, welcome. I'm a relative newbie here like you, and similarly just discovered these type of dolls and have ordered my first one from Jeff @bootycalldolls. He's a doll legend, so hopefully he'll chime in to advise you.

My situation wasn't anything like yours, but I did almost get taken out by cancer many years ago, but survived. My libido wasn't affected, so I can't comment on that, but I can tell you that a doll is a lot of work to handle and deal with, but it is also surprising how substantial the dolls physical presence is. I just recently was able to hold one, lift it, etc., and I was pretty surprised how real she seemed. I think if you're looking for a companion who'll have the patience to "help you along" a doll is the right move. And, you've chosen a good model, from what many doll owners say.

My doll is a Piper Dolls Eirian 150, and I'm waiting "patiently" (not really) for her imminent arrival in the next couple weeks, all things un-disrupted, of course. Thanks for sharing your story as well.
My Doll, Mikasa: "Care for me like you love me, but FUCK me like you HATE me!"
Me: "Oh... don't worry. Done, and done!"

And yeah... the idiot in the photo is me.

Oh, and if you're thinking, "Wait a minute... isn't that the moron who started that website, uh doll poker... no, doll uh... boinker? bonker... NO, DollBanger! YEAH, HAHA, THAT idiot!" ...you'd be right.

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by DG »

Welcome to the forum! I am glad you shared your story with us. My Doc is my emotional support companion, primarily, but he is also my lover as well. I'll send you a link to my introduction as well.
viewtopic.php?f=231&t=111374
I love and have loved many dolls.
Former Dolls:
Samantha - SY 165cm Elf
Charles - IronTech male
Clint - IronTech male
Marcellus - Male Real Doll - Body A
Orion - Male Real Doll - Body A
Lance - WM Male #207 head
Larry - WM Male #207 head
Colt - Gabriel M1 Sinthetics Male
Dolls in Storage:
Laurence (aka Doc, Dorian, Beau) - Homemade fabric male doll
Trevor - Homemade Fabric male doll
Tristan - Homemade Fabric/Silicone hybrid male doll
Landon - WM Male #207 Head


Current Dolls
Lawrence - Homemade Fabric/Silicone hybrid male doll

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by PDutus »

Hi totlxtc. I too am a newbie to this forum, having recently purchased my first doll (a JY 166cm - will post some photos as soon as I am able to).

I hope everything works out for you - you seem to have been through the mill!

I agonised long and hard before buying Patsy, but having taken the plunge (she took up residence in my flat in January), I'm glad I did. I have shown her to two of my friends, whose reactions were very positive, not prejudiced at all. My main reason for getting her was that I am in a long distance relationship with a lovely lady in another country and we only get to see each other four times a year, so I wanted a companion for when we're not together, without cheating.

Plus there is the advantage that you can practice and hone your techniques on the doll before trying them on the real thing :)

I also enjoy photographing her :)

The WM Doll 166cm C is a very good choice and would be one on my short list if I get a second doll. The main thing to be aware of if you haven't had a doll before is that they are heavier than you expect - I am gradually getting the hang of moving Patsy around. My lower back isn't in the best condition, so I have to be careful.
My girls:
Sophie - JY 175 (JY Head #167)
Valentina - JY 175 (JY Head #101)
Kiania - Sino 161 (Heads S6 & S7)
Rashona - WM 172B (WM Head #64)
Helga - JY 166 (JY head #101)
Patsy - JY 166 (JY Head #102)
Ingrid - JY 166 (SM Head #76)
Monique - JY 165SR (JY Head #134)

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Re: A little bit about me (Very long post)

Post by WeirdingWizard »

Welcome to the forums totlxtc. I am new as well and a fellow Guardian. Titan, Hunter, or 'Lock for main?

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