Dear Ms. Nutmeg. I'm not aware of having been acquainted with you although my memory is rather plain most of the time. Still, I'm familiar with others at your residence and my research suggests you're a nice doll and so forth. I have documentation which states July 24th is your birthday, so I'm pleased to facilitate this discussion about it. Please celebrate nicely and use a designated driver etc. Thanks.
Here's a disorientation cake.
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