SexDollAmerica.com

Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Read about the latest TDF news here. Have an announcement that you would like to make? Here is the place to do it!
User avatar
B3F11dolly
Doll Guru
Doll Guru
Posts: 5413
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 12:00 am
Location: who knows
Contact:

Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by B3F11dolly »

Okay, with almost 5000 posts, this is probably the hardest one ever to do for me… Since 20th May 2006, I’ve been working on the doll matrix, all alone. I still remember the day when Bill asked me if I want to take over that job. That was a huge honor for me, even more so, as I was still pretty new back then and a bit of a troublemaker. The years I did it, I hope I could live up to the expectations and my first thanks still have to go to Bill, for trusting me.

Within close to 6 years, starting with a Realdoll only matrix (and 4 Mechadolls or such), I started to renew the whole thing, every doll entry, and add hundreds of dolls more, and body and head types and new companies. That was as much of a challenge as it was fun to do. I’m pretty proud of the work I did there and there are hundreds of hours of work put into it.

However…

… the moment has come where I cannot do the job properly anymore. My interest in dolls got less and I’m not up to date with new stats and companies. Also, to be honest, after close to 6 years, it gets somewhat old. And the time I used to have for it, I don’t have that anymore. So some submissions lately had to wait for two weeks, which is no good. So to be honest, with myself and all others, I have to admit I cannot do it anymore. So that’s why I step back from being the matrix admin.

The new matrix admin in charge is Elle, a very well known member with a long positive forum history and a more than average interest in the matrix. Stepping back is my own free choice and will, a help for me in the situation I am in, and Elle is my own choice to be my successor. My free choice and that of many (if not all) others in forum management. Elle for sure has the internet language skills to do this, more than I have.

The matrix is a very valuable part of this forum and just because I put that much work and love in there, I feel it is my duty to step back now, doing so in the best interest of the matrix itself and the forum. As I said, due to personal issues, some dolls had to wait two weeks now, and my situation won’t get better anytime soon, just worse. So you can guess what the future of the matrix would be like, if I go on. And acting in the best interest of all, this is just the point to let someone else take over.

The reasons for all this, quite obviously…

…have to do with my private life and changing gender. It’s a 2,5 years struggle to where I am now, living as a girl full-time and legally being named Vanessa now, psychotherapy, hormone therapy, epilation and whatnot. All this is time-consuming and strenuous. Next, the medications I have to take are famous for side effects like depression, lack of motivation and so on, and I feel that a lot.

As I said, the situation won’t get better anytime soon, just worse. While I have the life and name of a girl now, I still lack most of the body. So the hardest ugly part with lots of surgeries is still ahead of me. I’m just back from hospital, had a vocal surgery on Jan 27th and yesterday evening, for maybe 15 minutes, there was the first time I had an acceptable female voice, so things are still healing and progressing. Nevertheless, today, I was already at the next hospital to make an appointment for a consultation, to plan the next surgery and get a date then. That will be March 15th, surgery could be April then, most likely. On top of all that, 99% sure there will be reassignment surgery later on. That will be a trip to Thailand, up to a month to leave pain hell, from what others tell me, up to 2 or 3 months to pee correctly and up to 5 or 6 months of rehab until girl is ready to go have sex with that new organ. So you see, things won’t get better anytime soon.

I enjoyed being matrix admin, but this is also just the time to move on, and enjoy every bit of a female life I still can get and save as much of the time I still have left, to enjoy being a girl, finally. I already have 25 years of my life missing, that’s bad enough. After the voice will hopefully be nice quickly now, next thing I will get now is two nice real boobs ( . ) ( . ) maybe in April. That’s been my biggest wish all my life long. The voice being okay first time, last night, and merely having an appointment for an appointment for breast enlargement, that alone made me cry tears of joy today, for the very first time in my whole screwed life. No matrix can give me that, so I just want to get this body now and enjoy.

I hope everyone will understand this personal decision and respect it.
Thanks.

User avatar
kindly
Active Member
Active Member
Posts: 183
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 10:10 pm
Location: PA Dutch Country
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by kindly »

Hi Vanessa- Many thanks for the stellar work you have done over the years in maintaining the Doll Matrix! So enjoy being able to step away from it with the feeling of having done a bang-up job and knowing that it is in capable hands. And all the best in your personal struggle; I will be thinking of you, and hope all goes well.
All the best to you,
kindly

User avatar
Fenrisulfr
Doll Elder
Doll Elder
Posts: 2574
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2011 4:25 pm
Location: Asgard
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by Fenrisulfr »

From a miserable old bastard who finds existence hard, a warm thank you for what you've put in and best wishes for the future. At the bottom, if you do your job right, the shit bounces up to the next rank and so on. You've carried your rank well and deserve a rest, NOT a f******* break so keep posting for your admirers. 8) 8) 8) 8)
"I don't have dirty thoughts.............I have unapologetically normal thoughts which happen to be intensely erotic."

User avatar
Obin
Doll Oracle
Doll Oracle
Posts: 8104
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:00 am
Location: near Atlanta, GA.
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by Obin »

I truly wish you success.

I will miss seeing you as the matrix administrator.

If you're going to have a blog, please list it.

I also hope you leave your Vanessa and Angelina sites posted.

I am impressed with the work you've done and think of you as a friend.

User avatar
itsme
Manufacturer Affiliated
Manufacturer Affiliated
Posts: 8277
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:14 am
Location: Everywhere
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by itsme »

Troublemaker :haha4: :haha4:
I would say You are a good friend (troublemaker) you will be missed. Hears to all your work :glou: :glou:

User avatar
midiman
Doll Guru
Doll Guru
Posts: 5057
Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2004 7:00 pm
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by midiman »

So glad you are staying on staff, Vanessa. You are like family now ;)

Besides, I might get lethargic if you weren't here to slap me around ;)

You did a great job on the matrix. A very tedious job with a lot of programing.

Thanks so much for all your efforts.
Midiman...
My Doll photos... here in my Doll Album

Gabrielle BT ---- Libby Ruby13 ---- My Teddy Babes --- Bianca from Lars & the RG --- jessica Wicked RD ------ Aredhel PIB ------ Amaya 4woods - Kira Anatomical

User avatar
kharn
Site Owners Group
Site Owners Group
Posts: 8958
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2001 12:00 am
Location: CoverDoll
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by kharn »

My dear friend Vanessa, just let me thank you for all the great work you have done on the Matrix over the past years. We all understand that this is a time in your life when other matters take priority and we all wish you the very best there :)

However I'm really happy that you are staying on as a member of staff. I understand that you won't be as active, but what would TDF be without our Vanessa :) :glou:
midiman wrote:So glad you are staying on staff, Vanessa. You are like family now ;)

Besides, I might get lethargic if you weren't here to slap me around ;)
Don't worry about that :whistle:

May I also take this opportunity to thank Elle for stepping in for Vanessa on the Matrix. I know you'll do a great job :thumbs_up: :glou:
Image 
 Click to go to Coverdoll

User avatar
Elle
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Posts: 2986
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:00 am
Location: near Paris, france
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by Elle »

Elle thanks you very much Vanessa, for your confidence and friendship :D
You did a really great job during 6 years ; and as an old programmer, i can say that your html code and practical sense are more perfect thant those we can see on many professional websites done by compurter scientists :wink:
I just have to follow the way you created :)

Cheers,
Elle & jihan
__________________ ALL DOLLS ARE WELCOME... SUBMIT YOUR DOLL TO THE MATRIX __________________ My Website
ImageImage

User avatar
Mechwizard
Doll Elder
Doll Elder
Posts: 2015
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:00 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by Mechwizard »

Vanessa you should be proud of all you have done. Many thanks for all you fine efforts.

And long live Elle
Mechwizard
Consort to the Queen of Curves
http://www.dollalbum.com/dollgallery/in ... ?cat=10796

User avatar
Christine
Doll Patriarch
Doll Patriarch
Posts: 4669
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:56 pm
Location: S.F.D.D. Headquarters, Vegas
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by Christine »

Vanessa thank you for all your hard work through the years....


:multi: :multi: :multi:

User avatar
1jayjay
Doll Patriarch
Doll Patriarch
Posts: 4449
Joined: Wed May 11, 2011 3:14 pm
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by 1jayjay »

Good luck with the future Vanessa :) and thanks for the past. You did an outstanding job on the Matrix :thumbs_up: and are a valued member of the community here. Times, circumstamces and people change, I hope hope you find the happiness you deserve. It'll still be very nice to see you about the place. I personally keep my eye on your personal thread, and shall be looking out for your updates. Good luck and thanks again for a great job. :)

User avatar
Nescio50
Site Manager - CoverDoll
Site Manager - CoverDoll
Posts: 23444
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:06 am
Location: In TLC, The Low Countries, surrounded by dolls
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by Nescio50 »

Vanessa, it has been a great job, more than great! Thank you! Good luck and I like to see you around.
I believe the matrix is an important part of TDF. And so to Elle, good luck too!

User avatar
cosycottage
Member
Member
Posts: 2201
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:05 am
Location: here, there and (very occasionally) everywhere
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by cosycottage »

A big thank you to Vanessa for all the work she's put in to make the Doll Matrix a success.

It's a very useful tool - not just for assessing the popularity of certain makes of doll, but also for providing examples of those lesser-spotted girls which occasionally wash up on friendly shores.

Thanks Vanessa and I hope you can continue to enjoy this forum and all the friends you have made on here over the years! :D :thumbs_up:

:angel:
"Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it." Francois de La Rochefoucauld

User avatar
CharlieWone
Doll Advisor
Doll Advisor
Posts: 886
Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:55 pm
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by CharlieWone »

Thank you, Vanessa, for all you've done over the years.
And thanks to Ellle for taking over such an important part of the forum.
It's members like you two that keep this place running
for the rest of us to enjoy :D

User avatar
tchon
Doll Elder
Doll Elder
Posts: 2457
Joined: Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:00 am
Location: The Fields of Mariam, Berlin, Germany
Contact:

Re: Vanessa stepping back, Elle is the new matrix admin

Post by tchon »

I can still remember the first time when I discovered the doll scene, and at that time it was all a bit strange to me and I really wondered what kind of persons these people might be :whistle:

Fortunately the first place I found was the doll matrix, and from that information and all the lovingly detailed matrix entries I quickly got the impression that this has to be much more than just shagging inanimate objects.

I still remember that I wondered who that Vanessa might be who is updating all the entries until I found her own entry in the B3/F11 sector. 8O If it was not clear to me until then, it fully dawned that I have found a wonderful community of big boys and girls playing with big dolls.

Maybe things might have developed differently if I got a different start, but from there what else could I have become but a doll enthusiast? So big thanks to Vanessa for making my life a whole lot happier!


Oh, yes ok, I know things have changed drastically in the meantime, and while I myself do not like change I can see it can be good thing. I can only vaguely imagine what the change she is going through means to Vanessa but it is definitely a change for the better, even though it is a very tough road still ahead - and to look on the bright side, also some parts already behind.
And I see it is a hard thing letting the matrix job go now after all the years of work, but Vanessa as we know her (even if we do not know her that good,) is a tough woman who can make hard decisions or she would have been broken long ago - but she did not. So thanks not only for all the years of work, but also for being able to recognize the right moment to pass on the honour full job to the next person.

Vanessa girl, you get your priorities straight! I do not feel tempted to get a pair of nice boobies myself, but only because I somehow feel they would not fit me. However aside of that even I can vaguely feel the excitement of getting the right body for you, and I wish you all the best for the future.
I am very happy to hear that you plan to keep a presence here, if only to keep us updated on how you are doing, because I really want to know what happens to you and how you treat what life has in stock for you in the future.



Mariam, who spend her most of her time daydreaming lately as I have been occupied by more mundane things like keeping a job, takes the time for a wink in the background and a big thanks for giving her and her sister an entry in the matrix. ;)


Last but not least three cheers for Elle for stepping in to this job! I wondered who after Vanessa would be able to do the job, but now I am comfortable because I feel you can do it.

Long live the doll matrix!

Post Reply

INFORMATIONS