I Think the Time Has Come To Say Goodbye to My First Love

Hitchhiker42 · Post by **Hitchhiker42** » Fri Apr 12, 2019 8:22 pm

So a dark cloud has appeared over head. I have been thinking it is time to say goodbye to Meryl. Thirteen years ago she came into my life. My first doll, and the fulfillment of a dream I didn't think would happen. I wanted a RealDoll the very first time I saw one. When I unexpectedly found myself in a position to order one, I jumped at the opportunity. Any possible consequences be damned! I didn't even think about any. All I could think about was that I could actually have a RealDoll! I exhaustively searched and chose the head and make-up. Then I'd search again and again. I'd jump back between two different body types. I finally settled on the choices and made the order. I think the wait was 3 months or more. It was absolute torture.

The day she arrived is still one the most exciting days of my life. I'm sure I will remember it forever. Finally seeing if I chose the right options. When I saw her, she was perfect! I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. And she was right in front of me. I could touch and kiss her. Kissing wasn't even something I thought about doing with her. I was surprised by how much I liked it. Being next to her made me so happy. I loved her instantly.

The only negative was her weight. I'm not an athletic guy. Lifting 100lbs is a real chore. The early dolls also had loose joints, which didn't help. She couldn't even support her own weight. So being intimate with her was rare. And became even rarer as the years passed. I eventually wanted a lighter doll. Lighter turned out to be a game changer for me when it came to being intimate with my dolls. I would go to them when I wanted some fun.

Meryl sat untouched for a couple years. I recently pulled her out of her storage crate to check her out. I remembered that her labia was needing replaced and when I spread her legs more to look inside her cavities, her vagina split at the side. It is probably about an inch or so long. For being 13 years, she still looks good. But she is made of the older silicone. And this wouldn't be the first labia replacement. Though it is the first big tear. Her fingers have been repaired numerous times. Her right leg also pops out of the pelvic socket constantly. I once tried to repair this, but it just came out again a couple weeks later. I had to cut her open to make the repair, and I don't want to do that again. It can be a pain to get the leg back into the socket. I'm not sure it's practical that I keep her. But I can't seem to actually start the process of moving her out. It could be nice to not have her crate in my room anymore. It sure is a pain to move. I had to move to a new apartment last year, and she was one of the more difficult things to transport. Luckily there were no stairs involved, lol. But I think it is the end of the road for me and Meryl.

It makes me sad, but I have no regrets. She gave me some wonderful memories, and was my introduction into the wonderful doll world. I believe I will keep her head so that she can maybe be revived some day. Hmmm.... That sounds a little morbid if taken out of context. Thank you, Meryl! I will never forget you!

Olivia F1 · Post by **Olivia F1** » Fri Apr 12, 2019 9:04 pm

I have had similar thoughts about my first doll. I think.... it may be time to trade her in for a new set of tires, lol, rubber for rubber. You had a longer/happier run then the average marriage.

Dollarhyde · Post by **Dollarhyde** » Fri Apr 12, 2019 9:26 pm

Poor Meryl... but you two had some good times... I know the Tin Silicone was not as durable. But 13 years is a good run...

Hitchhiker42 · Post by **Hitchhiker42** » Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:38 am

I did it... Meryl is gone!

Although now that it's done, I do feel that it was for the best. It was a learning experience dismantling her. I learned that there was no way I could have repaired her hip joint. It became completely detached from a rubber cap that kept it in the socket. I can't believe the other leg didn't break the same way. I also couldn't believe just how light the skeleton is. All her weight was from the silicone. I also found that deep in her vagina was a dark oily residue. There wasn't a lot, or even immediately obvious to spot. It was mostly located in the way back of the vagina cavity. It didn't look like mold, but eww, regardless. I often wondered if I had an adequate method on cleaning her insides. I just relied on the douche bulb she came with to flush out the cavity. It obviously wasn't quite enough. I've learned so much more since her heyday. Cutting her in to pieces was a little odd. I felt like I was on an episode of "Dexter", lol. I do hope to to find a way to use her head/face in some way. Find a way to attach it to another doll.

I'm going to miss her. But we did have a good run. I had initially feared she wouldn't even last a quarter of the time I had her. So I'm thankful for that. Goodbye, Meryl!

DG · Post by DG » Sat Apr 13, 2019 3:05 pm

I'm really sorry, man. That had to be really hard to do.

puma uma · Post by **puma uma** » Sat Apr 13, 2019 4:35 pm

Very sorry for your loss. We forget how important dolls are to the members on here. After so many years and repairs they can't find the urge to let them go. I remember my first solid doll i ever got. After the years i knew i needed a fresh new face, but when i replaced the same style of face with a new one it just wasn't the same. The had her old face just right.
Another way to look at this buddy is now you can start another adventure with a new doll. Best of luck!

Hitchhiker42 · Post by **Hitchhiker42** » Sat Apr 13, 2019 5:41 pm

Thanks, everyone! I'm glad I have my other 2 dolls to help with the loss. It would have been more devastating without them. I think I might be able to figure out a way to have her head fit on my fabric doll. It will not look great. The skin tones aren't even close to matching. But I think it could be nice to have a kissable option for that doll. And I think it being Meryl would be a bonus. We'll see.

Olivia F1 · Post by **Olivia F1** » Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:48 am

Wow, yes. Its amazing the emotional connection we form with our rubber honey's and how in time we all will come face to face with a death or parting with our special ladies. Doll ownership comes with more then anyone can imagine until they own one.

My first doll has been operated on several times, has been glued, bolted, and tied back together. I still have feelings for her even with springs bursting out of her eyes.