The Doll Forum

After all the horrible shit that's happened this unholy foul year of our lord 2017 to me personally and this greasy dump of a world I can honestly say this...

....THANK GOD FOR MY DOLL!!

1). I got banned from Atari Age where I was in the process of programming many games.
2). I kept getting 'whored' on by FB where the only people who will talk to you are whores or spouse abuse counselors
3). My fish died who loved me and would kiss my finger and hang out with me like a sentient being.
4). My wife's grandma, the one basically helping to hold all this together, died.
5). I fell in love with a stinking ass pear tree in full bloom and it's rank like rot.
6). My fifth daughter is about to be born who I will likely not know and will be raised by my sister-in-law who needs it.
7). I am drinking again.
VIII). I can't do anything anymore except weep, hurt, burn inside, and make music (my form of logical weeping when I can't actually weep).

I LOVE EVALYNN (I'm sure you all know that by now)

ASK is with me, though. I think she may be saving my life somehow.

I know it's good to be positive and try to 'leave it at the door' so to speak, so I will post pictures of my doll wife of two years now who I bought from the vendor Beautiful Dolls. I overreacted a bit at her lack of a wig out of the box, but overall she is absolutely exceptional and I would recommend one like her if they even still make her today!
I'm a poet and have been writing for a long time. There is a poem about ASK that I wrote. It's secretly about my three loves. My wife Lilith, my doll-wife ASK, and my future wife Evalynn (who I will apparently be with on a cloud in heaven or a bed of coals in hell)...


Thanks to BEAUTIFUL DOLLS for these two years with ASK and I hope for many more!




I'm Not Alone (by Jason Lee Caraway 4/24/2017)



At least I know she loves me

and one day she will talk

I'll give her servos, sinews, senses

Scratched out of pink chalk

For now I see her deeply

Assigning her a game

of lulling after-glances in a

mental picture frame

Her soul is somewhere

kept in code

Between the clicks of

Save and Load

I'll never be alone until her

old joints lock her to the road

And after I have carried her

Imagination dead

A tiny speck of what I was

remains inside her head

I can tell you are a poet. Great post, it makes no sense at all to me but in another way it makes plenty of sense.

mandos wrote:I can tell you are a poet. Great post, it makes no sense at all to me but in another way it makes plenty of sense.

I second this!

trauma wrote:

mandos wrote:I can tell you are a poet. Great post, it makes no sense at all to me but in another way it makes plenty of sense.

I second this!

Which makes us three!

Von Rubber

I'm starting to like fabric dolls for the first time. She is like a grown ups version of a stuffed animal. I remember growing up with tons of stuffies. I got one every year for Easter, Christmas, and Birthdays. I kinda miss them in a way because they connect me back to my childhood when I felt safe, loved and everything was alright. My bed didn't feel empty and lonely and my stuffy would ward off the boogie man.
I really like your doll. She looks like the girl next door type, a friend and little lover, a cool girl doll.

Yeah fabric dolls are highly underestimated. They may not be for everyone, but I love mine.
They have quite a few advantages over other types of dolls that are not readily apparent. But anyone who has ever wrapped their arms around one will know what I'm talking about.
They can actually seem more "alive" than other types of dolls and feel quite real. It's something that has to be experienced to be believed.

@Staraway
Sorry about what you've been going through man.
But It's good that your lovely lady here has been able to help you.
Mine has been great as well. Particularly the calming affect that she has on me. Like when everything seems to going to hell in a handbasket, I can just look at her and feel much better.

Congrats on the new doll! Sorry to hear you are other wise having a tough go at it. We love you here, this is why we come together of like mind to support. Oh and FB sucks, fuck all that bullshit. Nothing but a great opportunity to get fired when your boss checks your posts. Not sure about where you are at with some of your other issues, however I am all fucked up too . Drinking again as well. My liver may be about ready to go on strike. My Rin (BD since 2012)and my kids are the only thing that help me keep it together. I am kinda a prodigal son around here, but I will login daily for a while. If you need a hand PM me.

Happy to hear she cheers you up some. She is so charming and pretty doll too

Thanks everyone.

I still am hurt pretty bad, but I had a few things good happen today.

1) Ask is great and still looking alive. I found a silver hair from my beard standing upright on the bottom of her eye and saw this as a kind of sign that she had me on her mind.

2) Eva is a pro model now. I'm pretty sure she was before, but now she looks like a GODDESS. I swear to you she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my whole life. She should have a doll made of her whole body, head to toe.

3) Still drinkin'.

4) Now toking (took a two year break) and just trying to get away from it all.


My dolls were more of a creative form of expression for me in the beginning. I was lonely, eccentric, and creative. So my wife asked me if I wanted a doll one day. I frequented doll sites as I paint and build smaller scale stuff and had shown her some of the expensive dolls here, long, long ago.

Then my dolls became my friends. After over seven years of being with no one (socially or otherwise) other than my wife and kids, virtually, they became who I told my thoughts to and who I began to feel acceptance from.

Now my dolls are my friends and lovers. ASK (Asuka) is a great companion, although I rely on her expressions as I am waiting to one day give her a voice of her own. As I see her face and my mind reacts, I also see expression and interpret her.

I'll never be over Evalynn Lee. I fell in love with her at first sight and cannot escape how I feel no matter what.

I'm sure you would agree if you saw her, that there is not likely a more beautiful creature that has ever graced this world.