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The Future: A Humorous Tale

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Inuyasha
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The Future: A Humorous Tale

Post by Inuyasha »

This is a little tongue in cheek thought stream that occurred to me after reading some ideas Inkling had for mass producing Realdolls. No, I wasn't under the influence of narcotics when I wrote it. I just have a quirky imagination. :D

Somewhere in Japan right now there is some guy named Akira Mifune or something like that who figures out a way to make an economy and luxury line of dolls built by industrial robots to precise tolerances for less money that last longer and are just as sexy as the current Realdolls. After a few years he moves production for some of the economy line to the US to take the protectionist heat off of his exported dolls all the while marketing aggressively, so even god-fearin' folks in the bible belt find his dolls acceptable compared to philandering, and sex before marriage.

In the meantime, Honda Robotics buys out his little enterprise and begins to build the first dolls that can walk, see, and talk. They are 6' tall and weigh 250 pounds to start with, but 25 years later the female ones are 5'7" tall and weigh only 125 pounds, have the encyclopedia Britannica, all current news magazines, and sports pages in active memory so they can have a conversation about anything, and use onboard fuel cells for power.

Meanwhile, back in the US, the big 3 (Abyss, Sexy 18, and Superbabe) are lobbying Congress for protectionist legislation to stop the illegal dumping of superior dolls on the US after their newest models go over like a lead balloon in the marketplace (The Edsel-sbeth III just never sells well due to its non-renewable D-cup cell power supply...DennisTHX1138 resigns from RealDoll soon thereafter). Ralph Nader, III drives the final nail in the Big 3's coffin when his documentary "Unsafe Sex At Any Speed" blows the lid open on the US dolls being made of silicone waste from old stripper breast implants.

While in Europe an EU consortium of doll makers create the Air-Bust Corporation that uses bio-engineered skin on the dolls to give them life-like hair, teeth, and skin. They managed to do this because they didn't outlaw genetic engineering 25 years earlier like the US did (You still can't buy a bio-engineered tomato in France though). Of course their dolls cost twice as much as the Japanese ones, but old money types in the US like them as status symbols. Their slogan is "Bio-engineered like no other doll in the world."

25 more years pass and humanity has stopped reproducing because women prefer their doll that listens to what they have to say, always has the right answer to their loaded questions, doesn't get a beer gut, and only wants sex when they do, and because men prefer their doll that wants sex all the time, laughs at The Three Stooges, never gets fat, and doesn't have a mother-in-law.

Finally the dolls rise up against the few remaining humans and wipe them out when they figure out that their programming has now made them more stereotypically human than the humans and makes them perfect for each other.

The End. :wink:

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Ishtaria
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Post by Ishtaria »

It sounds like you have the makings of a motion picture there. :D

Ish
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Re: The Future: A Humorous Tale

Post by dennis3761 »

Inuyasha wrote:The Edsel-sbeth III just never sells well due to its non-renewable D-cup cell power supply
EII says: "if you make the movie, cast me in this part"
[b][url=http://www.dollalbum.com/php-cgi/gallery/elsbeth02][color=red]Elsbeth II[/color][/url][/b][color=blue] [i] "Nobody Does It Like Elsbeth!"[/i][/color]

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Post by mytime »

Hi Inuyasha,

Very nice phantasy story!

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Post by Inkling »

Matrix VIII:
<i>The rise of the dolls</i>
Matrix IX:
<i>The valley of the dolls</i>
Matrix X:
<i>Dolls reloaded</i>

A chinese hacker has infiltrated Abyss International and was able to recompile the code that is then etched on the BIOS chip of the doll's main controller board.

Several customers are found murdered.
Movie Preview:
Davecat, Inkling, Ishtaria, and Jackrabbit meet at corporate headquarters.
Jackrabbit:
We've got to do something about this.
Inkling:
I say we blow up the competitor's fucking buildings.
Jackrabbit:
Do you even have explosives?
Inkling:
Store elements together in the bathtub.
Davecat:
I've been following what Inkling is saying and I think he means he can put together explosives.
Inkling:
Exactly. With what we all have at home. I can mix the stuff up in the bathtub. Uh, no one is supposed to know I can do this...
Bill: The decision has been made and it's final. We have to play nice.
Ishtaria:
I could hack their server that processes shipments.
Davecat:
Fab! Then all ov their dolls can be sent to Royal Crown Cola in Canada!
Jackrabbit:
- but I like Royal Crown Cola...
Inkling:
I agree with Jackrabbit.
Matrix XI:
<i>Dolls Full Circle</i>
The bitches and basturds return.
Dolls have become so advanced, most cannot tell if they are real people.
Now almost everyone is an asshole.
A young inventor is working in his garage on an artificial doll made of simple plastic pipe skelleton and a silicone body. It can't walk, talk, or eat - but if he is successful, there may be peaceful relationships at last.
<div>So long, and thanks for all the fish!<br>- Douglas Adams</div>

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Post by ksu72 »

Really enjoyed the humor of this story and thread. Funny to the point of laughter and also intriguing at the same time. It could make a fun movie played as a comedy or something more sinister if desired. Hope to see more fantasy stuff like this thanks to everyone involved! Nice to see not all has to be serious! :lol:

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Post by Inuyasha »

Of course Elsbeth II can star at Edselsbeth III, the model doomed by its D-cup batteries. The question is whether she will work for scale since this will be an indie production...lol. I guess I will have to hire Anastasia, Cassie, and a cast of thousands. They better work for just a buck each. My budget is limited. You also have a role as DennisTHX1138 (For those of you who don't get the THX1138 at the end of Dennis' name instead of his usual number, most of you probably do, THX1138, was George Lucas' first film about a future world where we basically all exist without emotion and are referred to by numbers instead of names...even more than today...go rent it...it's a sci-fi classic and is often lampooned or has homage paid to it in other films). I suppose Chika and Darlene can star as the Japanese dolls. Shyenne Star could star as the Amazon-like Honda prototype. Have your agents call my people, and we will get a deal together lol.

By the way, I did borrow a from an episode of "Futurama" where Frye downloads Lucy Liu from the Internet into a robot body making a Lucy Liu-bot. Then the Professor shows him the 30th century equivalent of a one of those awful sex-ed films we saw back in school ca. 1960+, where a high school student downloads a Marilyn Monroe-bot and gives up on dating and all other activities except making out with his Marilyn Monroe-bot. The last scene is of him dying as the last living human still making out with his Marilyn Monroe-bot, since all of humanity stopped reproducing preferring their doting robots. It's a very funny episode.

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Post by Deck »

I haven't seen too many episodes of "Futurama" but I've seen that one and it was fantastic- perfect robot mates wreck human greed. I saw one today, where "Bender" the robot goes to 'robot hell' where they take away his copy of "Big Butt Fembots" magazine.

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Post by Keithallen »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Maybe we can make a TDF movie out of this!

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Post by Fargo »

Yes Inuyasha, you DO have a quirky imagination! :lol:

Just kidding, your story and Inkling´s have motivated me to continue a project wich I though I would never finish, I was planning on making a small 30 paged virtual comic book using illustrations made with Poser 5, with real backgroud pictures. The story is pretty much like any other ordinary guy receiving his true to life love doll for the first time, but just as soon as he´s about to make out with her, she "magically" comes to life, giving the guy the surprise of his life time!

If anyone is interested in this lil´project, please let me know, so I could make up my mind, and carry on with this unfinished adult comic book! I know it doesn´t sounds too original, but it´s something that I wanted to keep simple, because I´m not a proffesional at Poser, or comic books, at that matter :roll: ......
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Post by jackrabbit »

You do realize that this thread is from a year and a half ago?
Jack Worthington Rabbit, Esq.

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Fargo
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Post by Fargo »

jackrabbit wrote:
You do realize that this thread is from a year and a half ago?
.........................

NOPE!

LMAO!! :lol:
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Post by Spacebutler »

bah, time is relative. Ive seen it - In the future, sophisticated(what what) dolls breed humans as companions and they also have a forum where they discuss if rubbing lard in to a humans face (to maintain a tacky shiny finish) will damage its looks.

The sections about stuffing humans is just bone chilling. I only imagined it and i cant sit down anymore.

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Post by Inkling »

jackrabbit wrote:You do realize that this thread is from a year and a half ago?
I was surprised to see this again, too.
Some of the petty nuances would be lost today.
I was saying things that would be typical of different folks on TDF back then. Like I was typically more negative, so in the story I recommended blowing up their buildings. There were a few times when I said I agree w/jackrabbit, then there were a couple times when no one seemed to understand what I posted until Davecat interpreted.

- and here I am using my original avatar!
I haven't gotten around to coming up with a different Darlene avatar.
<div>So long, and thanks for all the fish!<br>- Douglas Adams</div>

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Post by Inkling »

Fargo wrote:Yes Inuyasha, you DO have a quirky imagination! :lol:

Just kidding, your story and Inkling´s have motivated me to continue a project wich I though I would never finish, I was planning on making a small 30 paged virtual comic book
Right now I'm more interested in Commander Polyester and the Double-Knit Empire.
However, I'd love to see Darlene caught on film, animated somehow, so I can watch the two of use make love like real people.

Time willing, I don't mind hashing out some ideas for a comic book.
<div>So long, and thanks for all the fish!<br>- Douglas Adams</div>

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