The Future: A Humorous Tale
Moderator: TJ_Foxx
The Future: A Humorous Tale
Somewhere in Japan right now there is some guy named Akira Mifune or something like that who figures out a way to make an economy and luxury line of dolls built by industrial robots to precise tolerances for less money that last longer and are just as sexy as the current Realdolls. After a few years he moves production for some of the economy line to the US to take the protectionist heat off of his exported dolls all the while marketing aggressively, so even god-fearin' folks in the bible belt find his dolls acceptable compared to philandering, and sex before marriage.
In the meantime, Honda Robotics buys out his little enterprise and begins to build the first dolls that can walk, see, and talk. They are 6' tall and weigh 250 pounds to start with, but 25 years later the female ones are 5'7" tall and weigh only 125 pounds, have the encyclopedia Britannica, all current news magazines, and sports pages in active memory so they can have a conversation about anything, and use onboard fuel cells for power.
Meanwhile, back in the US, the big 3 (Abyss, Sexy 18, and Superbabe) are lobbying Congress for protectionist legislation to stop the illegal dumping of superior dolls on the US after their newest models go over like a lead balloon in the marketplace (The Edsel-sbeth III just never sells well due to its non-renewable D-cup cell power supply...DennisTHX1138 resigns from RealDoll soon thereafter). Ralph Nader, III drives the final nail in the Big 3's coffin when his documentary "Unsafe Sex At Any Speed" blows the lid open on the US dolls being made of silicone waste from old stripper breast implants.
While in Europe an EU consortium of doll makers create the Air-Bust Corporation that uses bio-engineered skin on the dolls to give them life-like hair, teeth, and skin. They managed to do this because they didn't outlaw genetic engineering 25 years earlier like the US did (You still can't buy a bio-engineered tomato in France though). Of course their dolls cost twice as much as the Japanese ones, but old money types in the US like them as status symbols. Their slogan is "Bio-engineered like no other doll in the world."
25 more years pass and humanity has stopped reproducing because women prefer their doll that listens to what they have to say, always has the right answer to their loaded questions, doesn't get a beer gut, and only wants sex when they do, and because men prefer their doll that wants sex all the time, laughs at The Three Stooges, never gets fat, and doesn't have a mother-in-law.
Finally the dolls rise up against the few remaining humans and wipe them out when they figure out that their programming has now made them more stereotypically human than the humans and makes them perfect for each other.
The End.
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Re: The Future: A Humorous Tale
EII says: "if you make the movie, cast me in this part"Inuyasha wrote:The Edsel-sbeth III just never sells well due to its non-renewable D-cup cell power supply
<i>The rise of the dolls</i>
Matrix IX:
<i>The valley of the dolls</i>
Matrix X:
<i>Dolls reloaded</i>
A chinese hacker has infiltrated Abyss International and was able to recompile the code that is then etched on the BIOS chip of the doll's main controller board.
Several customers are found murdered.
Movie Preview:
Davecat, Inkling, Ishtaria, and Jackrabbit meet at corporate headquarters.
Jackrabbit:
We've got to do something about this.
Inkling:
I say we blow up the competitor's fucking buildings.
Jackrabbit:
Do you even have explosives?
Inkling:
Store elements together in the bathtub.
Davecat:
I've been following what Inkling is saying and I think he means he can put together explosives.
Inkling:
Exactly. With what we all have at home. I can mix the stuff up in the bathtub. Uh, no one is supposed to know I can do this...
Bill: The decision has been made and it's final. We have to play nice.
Ishtaria:
I could hack their server that processes shipments.
Davecat:
Fab! Then all ov their dolls can be sent to Royal Crown Cola in Canada!
Jackrabbit:
- but I like Royal Crown Cola...
Inkling:
I agree with Jackrabbit.
Matrix XI:
<i>Dolls Full Circle</i>
The bitches and basturds return.
Dolls have become so advanced, most cannot tell if they are real people.
Now almost everyone is an asshole.
A young inventor is working in his garage on an artificial doll made of simple plastic pipe skelleton and a silicone body. It can't walk, talk, or eat - but if he is successful, there may be peaceful relationships at last.
By the way, I did borrow a from an episode of "Futurama" where Frye downloads Lucy Liu from the Internet into a robot body making a Lucy Liu-bot. Then the Professor shows him the 30th century equivalent of a one of those awful sex-ed films we saw back in school ca. 1960+, where a high school student downloads a Marilyn Monroe-bot and gives up on dating and all other activities except making out with his Marilyn Monroe-bot. The last scene is of him dying as the last living human still making out with his Marilyn Monroe-bot, since all of humanity stopped reproducing preferring their doting robots. It's a very funny episode.
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Just kidding, your story and Inkling´s have motivated me to continue a project wich I though I would never finish, I was planning on making a small 30 paged virtual comic book using illustrations made with Poser 5, with real backgroud pictures. The story is pretty much like any other ordinary guy receiving his true to life love doll for the first time, but just as soon as he´s about to make out with her, she "magically" comes to life, giving the guy the surprise of his life time!
If anyone is interested in this lil´project, please let me know, so I could make up my mind, and carry on with this unfinished adult comic book! I know it doesn´t sounds too original, but it´s something that I wanted to keep simple, because I´m not a proffesional at Poser, or comic books, at that matter ......
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The sections about stuffing humans is just bone chilling. I only imagined it and i cant sit down anymore.
I was surprised to see this again, too.jackrabbit wrote:You do realize that this thread is from a year and a half ago?
Some of the petty nuances would be lost today.
I was saying things that would be typical of different folks on TDF back then. Like I was typically more negative, so in the story I recommended blowing up their buildings. There were a few times when I said I agree w/jackrabbit, then there were a couple times when no one seemed to understand what I posted until Davecat interpreted.
- and here I am using my original avatar!
I haven't gotten around to coming up with a different Darlene avatar.
Right now I'm more interested in Commander Polyester and the Double-Knit Empire.Fargo wrote:Yes Inuyasha, you DO have a quirky imagination!
Just kidding, your story and Inkling´s have motivated me to continue a project wich I though I would never finish, I was planning on making a small 30 paged virtual comic book
However, I'd love to see Darlene caught on film, animated somehow, so I can watch the two of use make love like real people.
Time willing, I don't mind hashing out some ideas for a comic book.