The Doll Forum

I own a 'stable' of little dolls! And I like to...well you know, 'luv 'em'!

I am somewhat confused. I always thought DaveCat considered himself an iDollator, but I just noticed that he appeared on..
"My Strange Addiction". Did anyone see the show? Did I miss a post about it somewhere? He is at the end of the trailer.

midiman wrote:I am somewhat confused. I always thought DaveCat considered himself an iDollator, but I just noticed that he appeared on..
"My Strange Addiction". Did anyone see the show? Did I miss a post about it somewhere? He is at the end of the trailer.

I don't follow his blog much so I didn't know or see mention of it there and didn't on the forum if there was a post. This is interesting that you brought it up he was on the "Strange Love" now a "Strange Addition" aren't they two different things? Maybe they aren't so mutually exclusive with him, for I think it has to do with the dependency in addiction, ( dependency is also a synonym for addition) because he says he can't live without her. Perhaps that's why he's on a show for a strange addition. Seeing the trailer, I personally don't think he fits into the show, but I guess seeing the full context of his part on the show would aid in understanding this. I'd like to know why he's on a show for a "strange addiction".

Just checked his blog there is a link to this:
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/my-strange- ... de-15.html

Name: Davecat
Addiction: Silicon wife

Davecat treats his life-size doll like a human wife. He eats meals with her, shops for her, dresses her and is convinced she returns back the same type of affection.

Returns what?

Why do they always pick on Davecat?

Midi, you really need to get your documentary out!

janesays wrote:JD responded to another poster explaining how he coined the term "Idollator"

JD wrote:Actually the technical term is "pygmalionist", but I've never much cared for it, despite the classy Greek mythological reference.

Not meaning to be picky

But a pygmalionist is someone that loves something of their own creation. More accurately a lover of a doll, statue or similar would be an Agalmatophiliac.

Edit to add: Oops, I guess I shoulda kept reading before posting

NotMyName wrote:"Pygmalionist" just sounds too much like "pig". The clinical term is agalmatophile

narcissus wrote:I've been thinking... since I have gotten used to saying the word "iDollator" tonight, and have fit this definition (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/iDollator) to a T for the entire time I have been a doll owner, since I prefer dolls over relationships with real women, which has not changed at all in year and a few month that I have been a doll owner. It's a much more suitable title for me than simply "Doll Lover" so I am going to call myself an iDollator for now.

Type "iDollator" into Wikipedia and you'll get this result:

http://mobile.wikipedia.org/transcode.p ... =iDollator

which will lead you here:

http://mobile.wikipedia.org/transcode.p ... mpgg5surm0

This is the mobile version, that's why it looks different, the regular Wikipedia should give you the same results.

Although the word "iDolator" appears nowhere in any of the article's pages, anyone using Wikipedia to define the word would be lead here.

And the connotation is not exactly flattering.

To establish my relevance in this conversation I want to say that I have been a doll admire for a long time and will soon be a doll owner...

If you put a belief of a subculture on a sliding scale that is outside the norm, moving away from the average, it can reasonably be considered an extreme. When you are in that community, you must create a new sliding scale. Each of the labels that have been considered for this subculture all fit somewhere on this scale. for the sake of common ground think of politics: Republicans and Democrats, each labeled group sits on opposite sided of the spectrum. both in there own right are extremes, and should be labeled as such, But in both of those groups themselves, you have extremes, hence the therms "extreme left" or "extreme right". So with all this considered if you consider yourself a "iDollator" or a "Doll Admirer" to the rest of the world, if you are part of this community, your beliefs can be reasonably considered an extreme. As the rest of the world becomes to accept this life style as being more of an acceptable way to life, our positions on the scale will change. What I am trying to say is that it really doesn't matter whether we as a community think a particular label fits us as an individual the fact is that we as a community can be considered and extreme to the rest of society.

Subculture: the cultural values and behavioral patterns distinctive of a particular group in a society.

Ref.: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/subculture

edit from the original

After reading your definitions, Szalinski, I would not consider myself an iDollator.

I selected 'Doll Lover,' as I do truly love my dolls. This love is not something I can easily describe. I guess it would best be described as existing somewhere between the love I would have for a partner and the love I would have for, say, a favorite childhood toy. In some ways it is a romantic love, but in no way would I consider my love for my dolls as a substitute for love with a real woman (or man, I'm not really sure which way my sexuality is going just now... ). There are obviously things that a doll cannot provide that a human partner can. The converse also holds true.

By the same token, I could not imagine myself with a partner who did not accept and more so enjoy dolls as much as I do. I don't know how many doll-loving women there are out there, but I'm sure they exist, and I'm sure I will find one who can accept this transwoman and her dolls for who and what they are.

I used to throw around the word iDollator loosely without really understanding what it meant. I used it as more of an umbrella term, encompassing those who had a passion for dolls, as opposed to a passing interest or something like that.

Anyhow, I hope this makes sense.

Mars wrote:What I am trying to say is that it really doesn't matter whether we as a community think a particular label fits us as an individual the fact is that we as a community can be considered and extreme to the rest of society.l

I agree partially with what you say, however, I believe there is much in a label to the unknowing. If I were to introduce myself at a party and say 'I am a Doll Collector" and "I am a doll fucker" I believe the second would be met with more negativity. How a community perceives and presents themselves has a great bearing on how people perceive that community.

As noted in the earlier post in this thread, the term iDollator implies an extreme of someone who worships and or idolizes dolls whereas the terms admirer or lover are a much more common and generic term.

I believe that society will more readily accept dolls as mainstream if they do not think the majority of doll owners choose their dolls over a normal human relationship, which seems to be how society is currently perceiving us. Why do they perceive us that way?

As you stated, it is a sliding scale, therefore acceptance also grows on a sliding scale.

midiman wrote:I believe there is much in a label to the unknowing.

I agree with this statement whole-heatedly. The media and those outside of a community tend to gravitate toward a single term to categorize a group of people, or anything else for that matter. 'iDollator' is the term that has been made popular by shows such as National Geographic's Taboo, thus introducing it to the society's vocabulary.

As the use of a word spreads, it gradually becomes irreversibly tied to whatever it represents. So, given time and the continued use of the word iDollator, that could be the label we are stuck with in the eyes of the media and those outside of the doll community. Is that something we want? If not, what can we as members of the doll community do to ensure that the label the media uses is one that most of us are okay with?

midiman wrote:I believe that society will more readily accept dolls as mainstream if they do not think the majority of doll owners choose their dolls over a normal human relationship, which seems to be how society is currently perceiving us. Why do they perceive us that way?

Again, shows like Taboo perpetuate the idea of all doll owners as being iDollators. I first heard the term 'iDollator' on Taboo, in fact, and began running some internet searches on it to see what I'd find. At a glance, it seems that the word is used in a negative or condescending context most of the time, and that's obvious just from reading the summaries provided by Google.

The more I see this word being used, the less I like it. I've been a doll lover my whole life. I had as much say in my attraction to dolls as I did in being transgendered--which is none, no say at all. If I have a say in how I'd like to be categorized by the media, then I'll jump on that b****, right now. (Sorry, my Game FAQs persona is coming out...)

Would it be beneficial or detrimental to have a public advocate, a voice, if you will, for the doll owning community? It seems like every cause has people speaking for it, from the GLBT community to cancer survivors. We're kind of voiceless, but I wouldn't know what to think if someone stepped forward to represent us. I think the best thing that can happen is that our community can speak out when appropriate and let the media know that we're a spectrum of individuals who have and love dolls for different reasons.

I do not aply to this poll, because I am every one of the catagoryies in the poll,

Now I'm an admirer, it's impossible not to be once one sees most of these dollies, one must be objective and set one's opinios in the things that are visible and touchable, and it's obvious these dollies represent a big effort by their owners and by their designers/molders/painters...long list of porfessionals that spent lots of working hours in each dollie making them an authentic work of art that it's also useful.

I'm saving so some day I'll be an owner/lover/f&%%$$er and may be idollator, I don't care whatever names ppl call me as long as I can pay or retribute for the benefits I receive in any way and as long as I don't hurt anyone with my happiness

Labeling people is what is wrong with this world anyway and even more so when a small community has several different labels within its group.Labeling others can cause division within any size group.At the end of the day you are someone that just so happens to have a doll and truthfully nobody gives a rats ass.It's only the ones looking to pick at us is where the labeling originated.

spencey wrote:Labeling people is what is wrong with this world anyway and even more so when a small community has several different labels within its group.Labeling others can cause division within any size group.At the end of the day you are someone that just so happens to have a doll and truthfully nobody gives a rats ass.It's only the ones looking to pick at us is where the labeling originated.

Yep, U are right, labelling creates problems among ppl, and that's the nice thing about living in big cities, nobody would be interested in anyone's life
, a shame there's ppl pickin on others just because we're different

spencey wrote:Labeling people is what is wrong with this world anyway and even more so when a small community has several different labels within its group.Labeling others can cause division within any size group.At the end of the day you are someone that just so happens to have a doll and truthfully nobody gives a rats ass.It's only the ones looking to pick at us is where the labeling originated.

Good point well made.

It's not like anyone's forcing people to join in. I like playing with dolls - sue me.

As for what the 4chan wankers think and professional snide merchants who use reddit and so forth to sneer, they can go fuck themselves, or at least give each other a reach around. Who knows, a couple of them might find they enjoy that more than the stuff at which they profess such indignation/shock/disgust while they have a good gawp.