Dolly Definition: iDollator

[Erika]

Why label yourself at all? Just call yourself a doll owner and be done with it. How far you choose to take it and how much you choose to share about your doll is of course up to you. No reason to divide everyone up into camps and slap labels on them. This is the very kind of thing that only serves to create tension and division. Hell, just look at Republicans and Democrats... or politicians in general for that matter.

Indeed. The label doll owners and admirers is perfect.

[Vickylover]

Hi Everyone,

I took a long time to think about this one in the end I took it back to basic simple fact; I own a doll therefore I am a doll owner

There were several categories I could have fitted into; but one thing I am sure I am not is an iDollator. To me it doesen't matter who first coined the term or what they ment by it; it is all about the perception of the general public and as others have said far more eloquently than I ever could it is just too extreme. If others wish to identify themselves by this term that is of course up to them and I wouldn't knock them for it; but iDollator is not for me.

Vickylover.

[mahtek]

I am an Idollator.

Yes, I own dolls.
Yes, I collect dolls.
Yes, I am a doll enthusiast.
Yes, I fuck dolls.
Addicted, not so much.

But I put forth the time, effort and imagination to perceive a relationship with my dolls.

I know that they are not real, merely a prop to fulfil a fantasy. Yet I choose to suspend disbelief and allow myself to enjoy the romance, devotion and love that can only come from a true relationship. And I do it big time. To the point that it does fulfill that primal need for connection.

Will I be able to keep this up forever, I cannot say. But for now, it is enough, and I choose to idolize my dolls.


Mahtek & his Ladies

[Bianca]

I am an Idollator.
Mahtek & his Ladies

Ok so you do idolize your dolls...

Quick definitions (idolize)

▸ verb: love unquestioningly and uncritically or to excess; venerate as an idol ("Many teenagers idolized the Beatles")

Would you say you fit this description?

One who prefers a love doll over a normal human relationship.

[IanEvans]

Would you say you fit this description?

One who prefers a love doll over a normal human relationship.

There we go with the "n-word" again (no, not that n-word ). Could the wording at least be changed to "a relationship with a living person", maybe?

I wonder if it's not so much preferring the doll to real human interaction, as preferring to enact a fantasy of one's ideal relationship to settling for one that doesn't even come close.

Many of us are simply not charismatic enough, or attractive enough, or (let's face it) rich enough to garner the attention of the women we truly desire. And I'm not talking about the delusional nerd who will settle for nothing less than a nymphomaniac supermodel who cooks and cleans and loves Star Trek. I'm talking about those of us who know ourselves well enough to know what would and wouldn't make us happy. I mentioned in another thread that, while I no longer have the whole list of criteria that I did in my youth, there are two unshakable things that'd make finding a compatible mate that much more difficult.

One, I do not want children (or stepchildren, for that matter). Two, I know myself well enough to realize that I could only be happy with a fellow naturalist. Not a deist, nor an atheist who still believes in other paranormal phenomena. I hope I don't come across as arrogant; I certainly don't think less of my friends who have supernatural beliefs, as I myself once did...or at least, tried in vain to convince myself that I did But again, I know myself, so I know that I'd spend the whole relationship secretly hoping that she's just in an earlier phase of her "antipiphany" only to be disappointed in the end. Maybe one day I'll get over this as well, and then it'll just be a matter of the childlessness issue (my feelings on that matter have not changed in over twenty years so I'm certain they never will).

But meanwhile I can pretend that Caley is quite content with her infertility, or if I wanna go even deper into the fantasy, that human and Teddy Babe DNA are incompatible. And I can imagine her to be just as much of a skeptic as I am...and, of course, that she's a hypersexual quasi-tomboy who hates sports and loves space opera and is perfectly content to live in squalor. So even if it's nowhere near as satisfying as the real thing, it still allows me to find some degree of happiness with a fantasy of the relationship I'll most likely never find in the real world.

So I guess, in a sense, I do prefer my doll, but only to being in a relationship that would ultimately amount to trading one type of unhappiness for another. But do I consder myself an iDollator? No.

[Szalinski]

<snip>

One who prefers a love doll over a normal human relationship.

Well, if I could find a human female that is capable of feelingthe true, unconditional love that a much simpler organism like a dog finds so easy to come by, then I most certainly would go for the human, of course.

[Debra]

<snip>

One who prefers a love doll over a normal human relationship.

Well, if I could find a human female that is capable of feelingthe true, unconditional love that a much simpler organism like a dog finds so easy to come by, then I most certainly would go for the human, of course.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHAAAAAA HAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so there too!

[Zarnon]

I call myself a doll lover. It's not that difficult. Heck it has less syllables than equestrian.

When I first heard the term idollator of course I associated it with idolator. The media message only reinforces that perception.

Dollar is confusing and dollor sounds too close to dolor (pain in Spanish).

[mahtek]

I am an Idollator.
Mahtek & his Ladies

Ok so you do idolize your dolls...

Quick definitions (idolize)

▸ verb: love unquestioningly and uncritically or to excess; venerate as an idol ("Many teenagers idolized the Beatles")

Venerate as an idol, that's pretty close. After all, there are many nice dolls out there, but I know that mine are the best! Idolize as a diety? No, I'm still a Christian.

Would you say you fit this description?

One who prefers a love doll over a normal human relationship.

Prefer, no. But it does give me the ability to be very picky about who I will and won't date and that may appear as rejecting all relationships.

Mahtek & his Ladies

[Zarnon]

Well, if I could find a human female that is capable of feelingthe true, unconditional love that a much simpler organism like a dog finds so easy to come by, then I most certainly would go for the human, of course.

You won't find a female fitting that any more than a guy would fit that for a female.

Some of the barriers we put up to relationships are so high SuperGirl couldn't jump them.

Geez, if I could find someone who accepted (not tolerated) the dolls I'd be hella happy.

[midiman]

Well, if I could find a human female that is capable of feeling the true, unconditional love that a much simpler organism like a dog finds so easy to come by, then I most certainly would go for the human, of course.

You won't find a female fitting that any more than a guy would fit that for a female.

Some of the barriers we put up to relationships are so high SuperGirl couldn't jump them.

Geez, if I could find someone who accepted (not tolerated) the dolls I'd be hella happy.

Zarnon, I totally disagree. I think that true unconditional love is not something that happens but is something earned. Also people within relationships usually grow together or they drift apart. Many younger relationships are fueled by hormones and sexual desire.

Perhaps the reason why a dog makes such a great companion is because sex and hormones are not in the mix...at least I sure hope not Usually they tend to hump your friend's legs

However, love goes far deeper than "sex". My wife and I share a relationship much like described above, and yes it did start out more sexual. But after 13 years of sharing we have grown very comfortable with each other. We feel one of the secrets of our long term success is that we did not smother each other and allowed for both time together and time apart so that we could grow independently within our relationship.

Of course nothing has ever been normal in Midiman's life and our first year of marriage we spent living apart, under separate roofs (owing to insurance problems in maintaining a vacant house). Some friends attributed that to being the secret of our success LOL

Regardless, keep in mind that when you are in your senior years that companionship often outranks sex when looking for a companion.

Sex is something you can get anywhere, but a good companion is hard to find. It is like a lottery. Some can go their whole lives and not find it.

However, one sure way to guarantee you will not find a great friend and companion is to give up or stop looking.

That's my take anyway, fwiw.

[Bianca]

Does anyone know of any magazines or newspapers that are in print that have used the word iDollator over the last 8 years since its inception?
I am researching its history and usage.

[tchon]

I guess some part of the iDollator thing has to do with the concept of romantic love. This seems to be pretty much built into our society, whilst it is a rather new invention, somewhat done in the 17th century or so. While all cultures know the phenomenon of "falling in love" (after all they are made out of humans, and humans do fall in love), it is the romantic ideal of love which made it a quality of its own.

As far as I see it, romantic love is that idea of two souls becoming one magically as an act of love. This is some ideal which simply does not happen in practice. (Note: "ideal" and "idol" seem to have the same root, don't they?) After all the romantic lovers just tend to blind out any differences in their characters in a pleasurable act of self deception. At the same time this usually goes with some act of idealizing the beloved one, or even idolizing. Some time one can not any longer ignore the difference between the ideal state and the actual person one is affected to, and than all this great love falls into pieces. (I see Davecat posted something similar (yet different) on his blog here: http://www.kuroneko-chan.com/echoes/?p= ... ment-46068)

I am pretty much indoctrinated with this ideology of romanticism as well. Yes, I did idolize the women I have been in love with every time. No wonder it never sorted out well. After all this idolizing tends to ignore the human being with all his/her subtleties while painting an ideal picture. At the end of the day its just another kind of objectification of women (at least in my case).
So why not turn this kind of affection to dolls? After all they are really objects, so no harm in objectifications. Of course it might be better to get rid of this romantic stuff, but I simply cannot do that.

Szalinski: I think the desire for "unconditional love" is a thing quite close to that. You can get unconditional love from an animal because its needs are so simple.

I don't agree with Midiman often, but here I agree 100%:

I think that true unconditional love is not something that happens but is something earned.

Yes, it is, and its often hard work to earn it. For some it's maybe too much work. In no way it is something that "just happens".


Uh, sorry for the long rant, I just felt I need to say that.

[Debra]

Perhaps the reason why a dog makes such a great companion is because sex and hormones are not in the mix...at least I sure hope not Usually they tend to hump your friend's legs

Ive always bought my dogs one these for that problem. Inflatable dolls for me, and inflatable legs for the dog.

[tchon]

Perhaps the reason why a dog makes such a great companion is because sex and hormones are not in the mix...at least I sure hope not Usually they tend to hump your friend's legs

Ive always bought my dogs one these for that problem. Inflatable dolls for me, and inflatable legs for the dog.

Anyone knows about something similar for cats? Their "unconditional love" for me is getting a bit on my nerves this evening ...