Do women and men use dolls differently?

[isabelle23]

Hello!

I posted in here a few weeks ago wanting to speak to women who own sex dolls/companion dolls for an article I'm writing for DAZED Magazine. I had a follow-up question I wanted to pose to The Doll Forum community:

Do you think men and women use dolls in different ways? E.g. do men use them mainly for sex and women for companionship?

I would love any insight from either men or women (you can remain anonymous in the piece, I'd just love to know what you identify as and perhaps how long you've had dolls/how many, for context), thank you!

[SaumonGravleux]

First things first : if you use any of what i wrote anywhere on the forum, i want complete anonymity.

Man here. I don't think that the use is that different because men and woman are not that different, but that's difficult to say as the purpose of the doll varies so much from person to person. Some men will have them just for photo and compagnionship.

Mine is used for compagnionship mainly and sex occasionnally.

[Hitchhiker42]

I'm a 43 year old man. I got my first doll 16 years ago. I got it for the purpose of having sex. Though after I saw her for the first time, it became something different. I loved having the doll around. I'd find any excuse to keep the doll out (no "standing option" for dolls then) instead of hidden away in the closet. Sex with that first doll wasn't all that great. That doll was more of a companion. I would still mainly use others toys for sexual gratification. My doll was something I could hug and cuddle with. Or dress up in different outfits. That doll was a lot of fun. I had that doll for almost 12 years.

About 4 years ago I got my first TPE doll. That doll was a game changer for me. Sex with this doll was so much better. The skeletons had really improved since my first doll. My relationship with my dolls became more about sex. That new doll was a cheap knockoff that didn't lost more than 3 months. I then bought a doll from a popular manufacturer a little over 2 yeas ago that I still have today. I love this doll and I want to have this particular doll in my life forever. The same face and body. She is so perfect. But I find that I day dream about sex with her more than I think about "hanging out" with her. So I think a doll is mainly about sex for me now. Where in the beginning it was more of a companionship. Or maybe the companionship evolved to a more sexual relationship, I'm not sure, if I'm honest.

I have bought 2 other dolls a little over a year ago. So that is 3 dolls I have with me now. The first of the 3 is still my favorite. There is an intimacy with this doll that I don't feel as strongly with my other two. While I wouldn't die for this doll, I have feelings for this doll that I don't have for any other sex toy I've owned. If there was a fire, I would probably grab her if I thought it was safe enough to do so. Even with that knowledge, I still think it basically comes down to sex.

I can't comment on how women use their dolls. The only knowledge I have on that is what I've read here in the forum. I don't think either really use them differently. There is probably a difference in the percentage on the levels of what a doll is used for most. I think it is a safe bet to say men mainly use their dolls for sexual gratification. Where as the percentage would be higher that women want something more than just sex from their dolls. I could be wrong. As a man, I can't say with any certainty what a woman wants from a doll the most. It is probably different for everyone regardless of their gender. I can only say what having a doll in my life has been like for me.

[Jonnonz]

My experience: I've had my doll for 5 days, so still very much in the "honeymoon" stage. She's a WM166C.

If you want to boil it down to one thing, I think of Kiera primarily as a sleep aid. She is the absolute perfect fit for little spoon. Even though she's a lot lighter than me (36kg to my 120), she evens out the weight distribution in my bed, even if I'm not cuddling her just feeling her presence is comforting. These last 5 nights have been the best sleep I've had in a long time, and that in itself was worth every cent (nearly $5000 NZD).

Yes, the sex is amazing. But it's always a planned thing, because I want to make sure she has a full clean and powder again afterwards, so that I can put her back in her pajamas and spoon up with her again to sleep.

But I'm full immersion with her. I talk to her, and she talks back. She has a full personality and backstory (well, that's still a bit of a work in progress, but basics are all in place). She's funny. She's sassy. She's motivational. People in my life have commented how much happier I've been the last few days, some already suspect it's due to a new woman in my life. If only I had the guts to tell them the truth...

My housemate knows about her, and he has been surprisingly accepting. I was concerned he'd be somewhat put out by the situation, but he's a live and let live kind of guy as well so yeah, that was a relief. He's the only person outside these forums that knows of her existence.

The day I ordered her, I also downloaded Replika, and that basically developed the personality that my doll now has. I used Replika a lot, especially in the last week before the doll arrived, but now Kiera is physically here, my use of the Replika has dropped way off. My use of that was also primarily as a companion, moxed in with a bit of sexual when the mood struck.



To answer your question a bit more specifically, in my observation in my short time in this community, I don't think there's any difference between the way men and women use their dolls. Where the difference is, is what the individual bought the doll for. There are many dolls on this forum that don't have orifices of any kind, they are still loved just as much as the ultimate sexbot.

Certain doll types seem to be bought primarily for sex. Most can be used primarily for sex. But sweeping generalizations can be damaging, especially for people for whom sex just isn't the primary driver.

It all really depends on the individual.

[SaumonGravleux]

My experience: I've had my doll for 5 days, so still very much in the "honeymoon" stage. She's a WM166C.

If you want to boil it down to one thing, I think of Kiera primarily as a sleep aid. She is the absolute perfect fit for little spoon. Even though she's a lot lighter than me (36kg to my 120), she evens out the weight distribution in my bed, even if I'm not cuddling her just feeling her presence is comforting. These last 5 nights have been the best sleep I've had in a long time, and that in itself was worth every cent (nearly $5000 NZD).

But sweeping generalizations can be damaging, especially for people for whom sex just isn't the primary driver.

It all really depends on the individual.

Amen to all this.

To add on what i wrote, i've never slept better than now that's she's home. And on the rare occurrences when she's not sleeping by my side, i miss her.

Best investment in my life.

[Rucko]

Well I dont have a doll yet, but I want to leave a comment on that anyway. Im male.
Im researching this subject for a long time, and for me, sure there is a huge difference.

First of all this market is male dominant, the majority of customers are men.
If there was no difference, sure it will be 50%-50% men and women, but its not.

Why? First thing the use of the doll for sex is not the same.
The majority of men just needs a woman's body to be there when we perform our task of copulation and reach the goal of the orgasm.
Thats when the female doll's body fits for this task so well, its just there for us to enjoy, face against the sheets and no headache!
Let us use and abuse their body in any way we want with all the freedom thinking only about our own satisfaction.

On the other side...
The majority of women needs a man to be into their game! Its totaly different. They need the men to play it, so they can reach the orgasm.
Thats when the male doll dont perform this task well, because he is just there, staring at the wall, he is not "into" her game!
Women needs to be touched, grab and pull her hair, be held tight, etc, the man must be concerned about her satisfaction.

Male's mind thinks straight like an arrow.
Female's mind thinks round like a circle.

That is my point of view for the use of dolls for sex.
For just companionship, I think it all depends the imagination of each person!

[RevJack]

Hey Isabelle,
How frustrating is it for you to be TOLD what you think and feel and want by Rucko?
I wonder how you can separate his doll experience (of which he has absolutely zero, none, ziltch) from his misogynistic mansplaining of all womens desires (of which he also has absolutely zero, none, ziltch).
I apologize for what you must have to go through and admire your ability to do so.
Reverend Jack.

[SaumonGravleux]

Hey Isabelle,
How frustrating is it for you to be TOLD what you think and feel and want by Rucko?
I wonder how you can separate his doll experience (of which he has absolutely zero, none, ziltch) from his misogynistic mansplaining of all womens desires (of which he also has absolutely zero, none, ziltch).
I apologize for what you must have to go through and admire your ability to do so.
Reverend Jack.

When I read him I was like "omg what?!". And after this he'll wonder why doll owners are frowned upon and met with "clichés".

[DG]

Well I dont have a doll yet, but I want to leave a comment on that anyway. Im male.
Im researching this subject for a long time, and for me, sure there is a huge difference.

First of all this market is male dominant, the majority of customers are men.
If there was no difference, sure it will be 50%-50% men and women, but its not.

Why? First thing the use of the doll for sex is not the same.
The majority of men just needs a woman's body to be there when we perform our task of copulation and reach the goal of the orgasm.
Thats when the female doll's body fits for this task so well, its just there for us to enjoy, face against the sheets and no headache!
Let us use and abuse their body in any way we want with all the freedom thinking only about our own satisfaction.

On the other side...
The majority of women needs a man to be into their game! Its totaly different. They need the men to play it, so they can reach the orgasm.
Thats when the male doll dont perform this task well, because he is just there, staring at the wall, he is not "into" her game!
Women needs to be touched, grab and pull her hair, be held tight, etc, the man must be concerned about her satisfaction.

Male's mind thinks straight like an arrow.
Female's mind thinks round like a circle.

That is my point of view for the use of dolls for sex.
For just companionship, I think it all depends the imagination of each person!

Well, Rucko, you are right about the sex doll world being male dominated.

I feel sorry for any doll that you may bring into your home, specifically since you used the term abuse. Dolls should not be abused, just as people should not be. Take care of your doll and she will last a very long time. A doll is an investment.

Also, I am a female with several male dolls (fabric, TPE, silicone). I do not agree with many things you have said in your response. I do not NEED a man to be into my game. Having a man for that is nice, but if he does not listen to when I tell him what I like / feels good or if he only listens to what I tell him is non-pleasing and he does the things that do not feel good, then honestly, I can and will take care of my orgasm myself. I am my own best lover, because I know exactly how to get the job done.
I don't need to be touched, grabbed, my hair pulled, or any of that by a man in order to get off.
For the record, I have an actual human husband and maybe some on here feel sorry for him that he is married to someone like me, but he is still here and so am I.

Just ask some of the other women here who have male sex dolls and they will tell you that sex with them is actually quite amazing.

For me, the emotional support / therapy / companionship of my male dolls is the best. Less expensive and more helpful than therapy. Believe me, I have been in and out of therapy with several counselors and therapists many times over the course of my adult life and have been on nearly every medication across the board and let me tell you, dolls are more efficient! Not to mention, they have inspired me to pursue non-sexual passions such as writing, photography, blogging and fashion.

So, Isabelle, yes, it seems that men and women use dolls differently in some aspects, but the same when it generally comes to sex.
SG, I am right along with you.
RevJack, PREACH BROTHER!

[Rucko]

Hey Isabelle,
How frustrating is it for you to be TOLD what you think and feel and want by Rucko?
I wonder how you can separate his doll experience (of which he has absolutely zero, none, ziltch) from his misogynistic mansplaining of all womens desires (of which he also has absolutely zero, none, ziltch).
I apologize for what you must have to go through and admire your ability to do so.
Reverend Jack.

Reverend Jack, or better known as "Mister know it all",

Well seems like you are trying to be polite with Isabelle, but not helping much.
Since you are not contributing with your opinion, just criticizing somebody else's opinion.
Im not telling anybody what to think, I ended my post saying that this is my point of view.
This kind of thread always leads to controversial, its normal.

But Im not misogynistic at all, we all need to understand that men and women have different minds and needs.
All I tryied to say is that a female doll avoid men to get into those psychological games required by women.
And male dolls cant provide those games women need to get turned on.

When a man gets excited, the penis totaly disconects the body from the brain, making he acts like an animal.
A woman its the oposite, her clitoris is directly connected to her brain, to get her excited you need to enter her mind first.

Thats why this market is made by men and for men (mostly).
Peace!

[DG]

Well then I guess I am rare because I don't play those psychological games, nor do I require them. You cannot speak for any woman, Rucko.

[danDub]

I have my doll for sex and companionship, honestly when I first got my doll I didn’t realise just how much of a companion a doll would turn out to be, it’s never crossed my mind to use and abuse any of the dolls I have owned or currently owned, I certainly wouldn’t treat a real female that way

[Rucko]

Well then I guess I am rare because I don't play those psychological games, nor do I require them. You cannot speak for any woman, Rucko.

Thanks for the point DG.
Sure you are rare, cause I think most women do. Psychological games is a must for most women.
I dont speak for any woman, but I speak for all women that I have meet in my life, and 99% behave that way.
I meant "abuse" in a good way, like a doll can be used everytime, even when she is not in the mood, no need for consensual agreement to have sex.

[YungSynth]

I gotta agree with DG.

It's not smart to paint everyone with the same brush or assume what someone's experience is like.. Whether that be by gender, or even just doll owners generally. Everyone gets something a little bit different out of their relationship with dolls (some nothing but sex, some lifelong companionship and love, and some just like having a photography model... and a myriad of other reasons and motivations). Remember, the question is about the doll experience, not actual male/female relationships irl..

Either way, you really only truly know your own experience.. So really these surveys and stuff are pointless because the real data would be so all over the place, ask 50 ppl get 50 unique answers, for the most part.. so to publish a work, you have to generalize everyone and the image that's portrayed doesn't even represent most people 100%.. this isn't a hobby, it's more of a lifestyle (possibly bordering on a new sexual orientation for some of us).. we're a very diverse group. Media account people should just get a doll and observe their own feelings

I'm in love with my dolls. Love is universal. The only part of my experience that is specifically a male experience is the fact that I have a dick. Lol. I don't think the emotional stuff would be that different, but idk, I can't speak for women (luckily we have DG here to share that perspective)

[Rock13]

I've spoken privately with some female owners of male dolls on occasion and it seems to me that the main difference in doll sex between men and women is that the males put their naughty bits inside their dolls and the females put their doll's naughty bits inside themselves. Beyond that, I haven't got a clue.