Devi says "Hi!"

hwa6cpxr · Post by **hwa6cpxr** » Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:51 pm

Leather by Lee wrote:Oh no, My girls have seen this and want to see how well they do. They told me that the next time I go to the market I had better come back with all kinds of fruit, especially a watermelon. They also want a pineapple to see if it will blow up if hit real hard. I told them pineapples are different than hand grenades.

Hopefully, you can convince them not to use any explosives or other prohibited weapons. That may be a lost cause, though. At least maybe don't post about their exploits. Myself, Devi, and Mr. Hedge are all paying the price for not being discreet. Otherwise, the next thing you know, you've either fled the country or brought trouble down on your friends and family.

Just today, a seriously scary personage showed up at the house. Oh sure, she looked all cute and innocent when I answered the door.

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But no, she was actually a bounty hunter looking to collect on the Fed's reward and she immediately began to toss the place.

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"Where is that b*tch hiding!"

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"Tell me what I want to know, or I will f*cking blow your head off!"

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Noooo... she's not here

I don't know anything

Wolferich · Post by **Wolferich** » Fri Feb 26, 2021 8:08 pm

A phicen does not stay alone for long. Better get her out of the house before she shatters everything.

hwa6cpxr · Post by **hwa6cpxr** » Fri Feb 26, 2021 9:10 pm

Wolferich wrote:A phicen does not stay alone for long. Better get her out of the house before she shatters everything.

Oh I know, but she's so cute and terrifying at the same time! I think I want to keep her!

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Post by **Kim** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 2:57 am

I guess you're going to need heavy weapons to scare her off.

The photography is great, as always. So is her jacket, but unfortunately it looks like it can't be zipped up. She seems to well endowed for that.

ShadowFun · Post by **ShadowFun** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 6:26 am

hwa6cpxr wrote:Oh I know, but she's so cute and terrifying at the same time! I think I want to keep her!

She is gorgeous! But let's be real here... we all know she's in charge of who's keeping who...

I hope she doesn't kick you to the curb!
:haha4:

Great photography! I vibe with your style...

hwa6cpxr · Post by **hwa6cpxr** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 6:34 pm

Kim wrote:I guess you're going to need heavy weapons to scare her off.

The photography is great, as always. So is her jacket, but unfortunately it looks like it can't be zipped up. She seems to well endowed for that.

It turns out, all I had to do was hire her to protect us from all the other bounty hunters on Devi's tail. Since she wasn't officially hired to capture Devi, it's not like she's breaking any bounty hunter ethics or code of honor.

Anyhow, she's got a bit of a temper, so I'm not going to tell her that her clothes don't fit.

ShadowFun wrote:
hwa6cpxr wrote:Oh I know, but she's so cute and terrifying at the same time! I think I want to keep her!
She is gorgeous! But let's be real here... we all know she's in charge of who's keeping who...

I hope she doesn't kick you to the curb!

Great photography! I vibe with your style...

As long as I pay her enough, I think I'll be ok

So to protect home and hearth, I have hired Mizz M. She didn't tell me what the M stands for. Mercenary, maybe?

Since the weather's been nice, she doesn't need to wear the jacket.

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The guns are a required accessory, however.

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Oops, wardrobe malfunction!

Maybe she does need to wear a jacket?

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I'm glad people are enjoying Devi's story. Hopefully, we'll hear more from her soon!

Leather by Lee · Post by **Leather by Lee** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 6:44 pm

Wardrobe malfunction or more likely a perfectly timed distraction?

Wolferich · Post by **Wolferich** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 5:22 am

This is all included in the price.

hwa6cpxr · Post by **hwa6cpxr** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 1:30 pm

Leather by Lee wrote:Wardrobe malfunction or more likely a perfectly timed distraction?

I'm not sure who the distraction was for. I was already staring at them

Wolferich wrote: This is all included in the price.

Huh, I better read the fine print

in the contract I signed with Ms M and find out what else is in store.

hwa6cpxr · Post by **hwa6cpxr** » Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:01 am

Ok, so the wardrobe malfunctions really were perfectly timed distractions! Apparently, there have been quite a few more bounty hunters showing up looking for Devi, but Ms. Mercenary seems to have everything under control. Distraction...BAM!

With everything all peaceful and quiet again (except for the occasional BAM!), I finally got a chance to read the fine print in the contract and dang it, the boss is going to kill me when she finds out what I signed us up for. In my defense 1/6 fine print is pretty tiny

. Anyway, at least I now know our mercenary's real name: Matilija Morgan. She says she likes an informal working relationship so we're supposed to call her Mattie.

Oh no, I guess it was bound to happen eventually, but a bounty hunter has managed to breach the perimeter.

Ugh, no wonder. It's a girl bounty hunter, so no surprise the distraction didn't work.

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Mattie has designated the intruder Bandit-1.

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Bandit-1 is trying to sneak around but Mattie's got cameras hidden all over the place (yeah, the fine print says she can put them everywhere including the bedroom

).

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Yes! Thanks to all the hidden cameras, Mattie's got the drop on Bandit-1!

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Come on Mattie, you've got this!!!

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Mattie scores the take down! Victory!!!

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Whoa, what just happened? They've gone from fighting to making out.

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It turns out that Mattie's been looking for a junior partner for her mercenary business and she liked Bandit-1 enough to conduct a thorough on the spot interview. Ok, so that's nice, but dammit, the fine print says I also have to pay for any and all additional personnel Mattie decides to bring on board. That'll teach me to not read the fricken fine print.

Wolferich · Post by **Wolferich** » Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:37 am

Oh, there are more. Watch out, if the intervals become shorter and shorter, or even two at a time, you are in exponential growth. And if a pink panther comes along, you also have to pay the alimony. Just read the fine print again carefully.

Post by **Kim** » Wed Mar 17, 2021 4:12 am

No, please don't read the fine print, because then more will come, and we can enjoy your photography.

(This is a complicated way of saying I love it)

ShadowFun · Post by **ShadowFun** » Wed Mar 17, 2021 6:31 am

I gave up on reading the fine print and just accept whatever mischief they deliver. It hurts my eyes to read it anyway... Ha! Love your photos and stories!

hwa6cpxr · Post by **hwa6cpxr** » Sun Mar 21, 2021 9:10 pm

Wolferich wrote:Oh, there are more. Watch out, if the intervals become shorter and shorter, or even two at a time, you are in exponential growth. And if a pink panther comes along, you also have to pay the alimony. Just read the fine print again carefully.

I think it's too late, I'm doomed!

Kim wrote:No, please don't read the fine print, because then more will come, and we can enjoy your photography.

(This is a complicated way of saying I love it)

Thank you, I love taking these pictures too!

ShadowFun wrote:I gave up on reading the fine print and just accept whatever mischief they deliver. It hurts my eyes to read it anyway... Ha! Love your photos and stories!

Lesson learned: ignorance is bliss!

Poor Mattie, she's going to have to rethink her Catch and Release strategy for dealing with dumb bounty hunters. They keep coming back for more, and now she's got a crick in her neck from doing the wardrobe malfunction shoulder shrug too many times.