The New Adventures of Amber!

[Oscar DeBarataria]

With things finally calming down, and with Katie bubbling over with excitement at the opportunity to work for my company, House Oscar was all set to paint the town last Saturday.

And it turned out that we had a perfect opportunity to do just that, because Amber heard about a big Halloween party at a place called The Bad Dream downtown. She just about begged me to take her and Katie.

But she didn't have to. I thought it was a great idea. So we made a plan, and then it was up to each of us to pick a costume.

But we agreed in advance not to discuss our costumes until we were in them. How well did that work? Well...

Hey, Katie...wait, what's that costume?

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"Hey, Oscar! I'm a disco queen! Awesome, right?"

"Hmmm. OK. I can see that working. But what happens if they aren't playing disco music at this place?"

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"Oh, I don't care. I'll just pretend it's disco."

"In other words, you're just trying to get as much attention as possible, right?"

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"Well, yeah. Isn't that the point of a costume?"

"Maybe so."

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"Hey, what's your costume gonna be?"

"Katie, come on. You know that's against the rules."

She shrugged, so I went into the bedroom, and...

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"I'm not sure my costume is gonna work."

"Well Amber, don't tell me what it is...oh. Now I already know."

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"OK, I didn't break the rules. I didn't tell you anything about my costume."

"No, you just laid it on the bed before you put it on."

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"Honey, please don't make fun of me. I'm already pretty self-conscious about this."

"Go ahead and put it on. We'll see what we think of it."

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"I'm afraid nobody's going to understand what I am, and they'll just think I'm slutty."

"What I'd be more concerned about is that you're gonna be super-cold if that's all you're wearing."

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"Oscar, I'm not the freezing weenie I used to be. But is it a bad move to go as a sexy slave girl from my Gor books?"

"I don't know. Stand up? Let's see."

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"I'm not sure if this isn't too much."

"It's Halloween. Too much isn't really part of the equation. When do I get to put my costume on?"

Amber just shrugged, so I waited for her to finish getting dressed and finally she left to find Katie.

Then a little later, when I was finally done...

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"Oh my God! Oscar, you look adorable! Which one of the Three Musketeers are you?"

"The one with the beard, Katie. Beyond that, I'm not all that specific."

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"Wait, is that what you're wearing?"

"Yes, Slave-Girl Amber, it is."

She gave me a smart-aleck smile, and then I collected the disco queen and the slave girl to take them out on the town.

[Oscar DeBarataria]

There was a huge crowd at the party, and all I could think about was how much money the club was going to make with this many people paying $50 for a ticket.

And Amber kept giving me nervous looks as we walked in.

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"I think I made a mistake wearing this, honey."

"What I think is you need a drink. Or several. We want Fun Amber tonight, not so much Worried Amber."

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"Maybe that's a good idea. You haven't gotten me drunk in a while."

"I know. We should totally change that tonight."

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"Does this mean what I think it means?"

"It just might, honey."

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"Wait," said Katie. "What are you guys talking about?"

"None of your business, Katie," I said, as sweetly as I could.

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"Ohhh. OHHHHHH! Now I get it! So you guys are gonna have lots of fun upstairs later, then."

I just looked at Amber, who gave me a knowing look.

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The club was a huge place, and we ran into a bunch of crazy folks...

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...and when I coaxed Amber's overcoat off and got her a cocktail, she started attracting some attention.

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"Oh my God!" a girl with a painted face, surrounded by some sketchy partygoers yelled. "You're a little slave girl! Can I order you to go down on me?"

"She did NOT just say that to me," Amber said.

"Relax, honey. It's a joke."

Amber didn't think it was all that funny, so I got her another drink. And then we ran into Katie, who was having a great time.

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"Hey, y'all! This is Wyatt."

"Howdy," said Wyatt.

"Howdy, Wyatt. I'm Oscar. This is Katie's sister Amber."

He smiled, and then he and Katie vanished into the crowd.

Amber just looked at me and shrugged, so we walked around some more. And I got her a third cocktail.

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"I think I'm getting a little drunk, honey."

"Well, then we'll have to cut you off for a while. Remember, we're going to stop off at Chelsea's after this."

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"OK. And I guess I'm not as wasted as...most of these folks."

"Crowd's a little sketchy, huh?"

She nodded her agreement.

But we had fun, particularly watching Katie as she danced with her new cowboy friend. But after a while, I saw Katie kiss him and then make her way back over to where we were.

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"Woo hoo! Are y'all ready to relocate?"

"I guess so, Katie. Are you not gonna take that cowboy home?"

She just smiled at me and shook her head, so off to our usual neighborhood dive bar we went.

[Oscar DeBarataria]

It was getting late, but there were still some people at Chelsea's.

"Do you guys want to go in? Both of you look a little worn out."

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"No way! We're totally going!" said Katie.

"I guess it's all right," said Amber.

"Amber, honey, if you've had it, just say so. We can certainly go home."

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"No, I'm fine. We'll go in. I'm just...you know, this isn't a Halloween party, so..."

"Yeah," said Katie, "but that's the fun part. People see you're dressed differently and they give you attention!"

So in we went, and immediately...

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"Oh, wow! You're a slave girl! Is he your master? And will he let you go down on me?"

"You have got to be kidding!" said Amber. "Again?"

"Thanks for your interest," I told the drunk woman, "but you need to get your own slave girl."

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"Oh," she said. "Well, never mind, I guess."

Then Katie grabbed Amber and the two of them went to the bathroom.

I turned around and before I knew it...

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"Hey, Oscar."

"Hello, Paula. Are you here alone?"

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"Yes. Are you?"

"No. And it's really not a good idea for me to be around you."

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"Wait, I want to talk to you."

"No, that's OK. Not tonight."

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"Oh my God! Are you seriously talking to that slut?"

"Amber, take it easy."

"Slut? You're the one who's out in public as a total whore. How many people did you go down on tonight?"

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"I'll freakin' kill her," Amber said.

"No you won't. We're leaving."

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"Wait, are we going?" said Katie, who walked up, before she realized why.

"Yeah, I think so," I said.

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"Called me a whore, but everybody knows that she's the whore," Amber muttered as we made for the door.

"It's OK, baby. Let's just go."

And a few minutes later, back at the house, I led Amber up to the bedroom and watched her take off her costume.

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"Well," she said, "if I'm going to get called a whore, the least you can do is give me your money's worth."

"I don't mind if I do," I said.

And a little while later I noticed Amber was much, much less tense.

[Oscar DeBarataria]

Last Sunday morning, following the fun night at the Halloween bash, I expected Amber would be out cold most of the morning with a beast of a hangover.

I was wrong. She was up and into the shower at the crack of dawn and it was me who was still laying in bed when she got out.

"Amber," I said as she stared at herself in the mirror, "what's so important that you've got to make such an early start?"

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"Not much. Just...Rachel is coming over to do training with Katie later, so I thought I'd start a pot roast and make lunch for everybody."

"Lunch is six hours away, hon."

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"Yes, I know. But I have a lot to do today. I want to give this house a thorough cleaning, and I've got clothes to wash, and I was also thinking about pre-cooking a bunch of meals for the week."

"That would make you one busy little beaver today, for sure. But I know what you're really up to."

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"What's that, honey?"

"Clearing all the decks this morning so you can lock yourself in here and binge-read some more of your Gor books."

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"You'd think that, but nah. I'm 16 books in, and honestly, they're running together at this point."

"Oh, wow. Are you getting tired of those books at long last?"

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"It's not so much that. I'm thinking I'm gonna make some changes. Not just about the Gor books, but other things as well."

"Really? What brought this on?"

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"Well, I really didn't like the reaction to my costume last night. And with me getting fired from the French maid job, it's like a big signal that what I'm doing isn't working. So I'm going to reset myself a little."

"Resets are good. And I believe you. That hair is definitely a reset."

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"Ha! Do you like it?"

"I think it's a little more cute than it is sexy, but it's definitely different."

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"Well, because I was cleaning houses pretty much every day for Stella and we're all blondes when we do that, I just stayed a blonde the last couple of weeks. But I'm all done with that now, so I felt like maybe I'd change my color."

"I like that auburn color on you. But what happened to your long auburn hair?"

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"I still have it, but I wanted something new. This isn't short, but it's shorter. And it's flippy and wavy and fun but NOT sexy. I'm kinda done with sexy right now."

"Really?"

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"Don't be mad at me, honey. Between the French maid costumes and...last night, I think I've run out of appetite for getting looked at like a piece of meat."

"I see. Well, OK."

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"I mean, I still want to look hot for you, but that's for you. Not the world."

"Nice. I like that."

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"I'm glad. You know, I want us to get back to more of a normal life. If that's even possible."

"Yeah, wouldn't that be nice? Oh, hey, Katie - wow, check out the hair on you!"

[Oscar DeBarataria]

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"I know, right? I bought mine when Amber bought hers. I think it looks more professional than that long blonde highlighty thing I've been wearing lately."

"I liked the long blonde highlighty thing, but I agree. This is definitely more appropriate if you're going to do Rachel's job."

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"Anyway, I have some bad news. I just got a text from Stella. She's in the hospital."

"Wait, what?" said Amber. "What happened to her?"

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"She hurt her back pretty badly. Like she has to have surgery later today."

"Yikes," I said. "How did that happen?"

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"She didn't say, but I have some suspicions. I think this was Paula."

"OK, really," I said, "we're going to have to relax with the obsession about Crazy Paula. She's not the only cause of bad things happening in the world, you know."

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"Oh, I don't know," said Amber. "This happened at her house, right?"

"Yeah," said Katie.

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"And Paula's been bullying Stella pretty much since she moved there, right?"

"Yup," Katie said.

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"Well, there you go."

"Ehhh, that's not exactly logical," I said.

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"Well," said Katie, "the reason I think it's a Paula thing is that Stella told me she would call me this morning when Paula leaves her hospital room. She said Paula hasn't left her alone so she can't talk to anybody about what happened."

"That, I'll confess, is a little suspicious," I said.

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"I'm gonna go and clean up and get dressed, and when she calls I'll know more. But I'm going to the hospital this morning. I'll be back for lunch so I can meet Rachel."

"I can call her and cancel," I said. "We can do it tomorrow evening if that works better."

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"No, because tomorrow evening I imagine I'll be at the hospital. She's going to be in surgery this afternoon, so I think I should probably get with Rachel today and then spend as much time with her as I can. I don't want her to be stuck with Paula the whole time."

"Oscar, we need to go as well," Amber said.

"Not if Paula is going to be there," I said. "You having a big fight with that crazy woman in the middle of a hospital helps exactly no one. We should make an appearance when we know she isn't going to be there."

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"I think that's wise," said Katie. "Let me handle this. I'm probably her closest friend right now. She knows y'all love her."

And then Katie ducked out to jump in the shower, leaving Amber alone with me.

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"Oh...my...God," said Amber.

"What do you think happened?"

[Oscar DeBarataria]

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"My guess? She went home wasted from that bar, all pissed off about seeing me again, and Stella said something she didn't like so she attacked her."

"I guess it could be something like that. It's just a little hard to believe, don't you think?"

Amber shrugged, and then she went to her closet and dressed in the other room.

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"Oscar," she said when she returned, "you're the one who called her a bunny-boiler. Don't bad things happen when that type of girl is around?"

"In my experience, yup."

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"I mean, it's not complicated."

"This whole time I've been committed to trying to calm this whole thing down. But if Paula put Stella in the hospital, we're on a totally different level of war with this woman."

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"Oscar, this is scary. What do we do?"

"Restraining order, would be one idea. Failing that, I dunno."

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"I'm just not built for fighting, honey. I want everybody to get along."

"That's not completely true, dear."

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"Well, OK, yes, I have not behaved perfectly. But all I did was yell at her, and even that was after a whole lot of provocations on her part. I just haven't dealt with anybody like this."

"I have."

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"And?"

"Nobody wins. You have to diffuse the situation, because what you find is that the lunatic has way, way less inhibitions than the non-lunatic. And the consequences of trying to out-lunatic the lunatic are always worse than you expect."

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"Well," Katie said as she came back in, "I just talked to her. And it's bad."

"Uh oh," I said.

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"Yeah. Stella says Paula threw her over the sofa and she landed on the corner of the coffee table. She cracked three of her vertebrae and she was lucky she didn't sever her spine."

"Oh my God," said Amber.

"So the cops will come and Paula will go to jail, and as awful as this is it's over now," I said.

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"I don't know about that," said Katie. "When I asked her if she was pressing charges, she said she wasn't sure."

"What?" asked Amber. "Why not?"

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"Because Paula told her that she would call the FBI on her. She said the feds would arrest her for hiring illegals in the French maid business and that she'd accuse Stella of running a prostitution ring. And Paula also said that either Stella can say her fall was an accident, in which case she'll take over the business and run it for her while she's laid up, or else Paula will say it was self-defense after Stella attacked her."

"Nobody will believe any of that FBI stuff," I said.

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"Honestly," Katie said, "Stella is terrified. She thinks Paula can pull this off. You know, her father is a judge."

"Yeah, that's true. But still. Everybody else knows about Paula."

Neither Amber nor Katie were convinced.

[4891d]

Damn! The situation is not getting better!

[Oscar DeBarataria]

Damn! The situation is not getting better!

It most certainly is not.

What do you do when you're living out a real (well, sort of) life version of Fatal Attraction or Black Swan?

I keep thinking if we can hold out, things will calm down, but I'm obviously quite wrong...

[Dollicious2]

Love the thread
Two thumbs up !

[Oscar DeBarataria]

I was supposed to go with Amber to see Stella at the hospital, but a business emergency forced me to send along my regrets. But when Amber returned, she informed me that Stella really, really wanted me to make the trip.

So the next day...

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"Honey, are you going up to the hospital?"

"Yes, Amber, I am. Could you chill a little? I'm going to run up there at lunchtime. What's the big deal, anyway? I mean, we're friends, but she's way closer to you and Katie than to me."

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"She wants to talk to you, that's all."

"About what?"

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"She didn't say."

"Is there a universe of topics that we might draw from, or do I go in completely blind?"

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"I mean, I'm sure it's about what Paula did to her, or maybe it's about the business, but I don't know."

"Well, you aren't much help."

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"Hey, she told me to get you to go up there so she could talk to you, and that's what I'm doing. I think I'm a lot of help!"

"Maybe. How's she doing?"

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"Well, they did this surgery on her where they replaced three of her vertebrae with artificial ones. It's apparently something that they do a good bit of now. Like they used to do spinal fusion and they replaced it with this. Except that's for people with ordinary bad backs, not people who have cracked vertebrae."

"OK, but what I'm asking is whether she's paralyzed, when they think she's going to be able to get up and walk, that kind of thing."

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"She isn't paralyzed."

"OK. How long is she going to be in the hospital?"

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"I don't think they know. It's going to be a little while, though."

"Good thing I made her go get health insurance when she started the business, huh?"

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"I guess so, yeah. Hey, Oscar?"

"What's that, honey?"

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"Here's your grocery list, baby. You need to stop off on your way home because we're out of everything."

"We're going to have to start charging Katie rent. She's eating us out of house and home."

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"No she isn't. And she's doing really well in that job you gave her."

"Yeah, she's OK, I think. Rachel wants to talk to me about her, though, which makes me nervous."

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"About what?"

"I don't know, baby. She said she was going to stop in after work."

Amber just shrugged, and then she was off to go shopping with Kim. I still had a ton of work to do before I could head to the hospital.

[Oscar DeBarataria]

Finally, I made it to the hospital, parked my car in the garage and negotiated the maze of corridors to get near to Stella's room.

"Hi. I'm looking for Room 334? Patient is Stella Moore?"

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"It's right there," said the pretty nurse. "Are you Oscar?"

"I feel like I'm famous or something."

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"She's just been asking for you, is all."

"Well, OK. Is she conscious, or whatever?"

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"Oh, yeah. She's fine. Well, she's not fine, but, you know."

"She's in a lot of pain?"

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"She had back surgery yesterday."

"Right, OK."

So I made my way in, and...

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"Heyyyy, thanks for coming, Oscar."

"Hey girl, how are you doing?"

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"Well, I'm alive. And they say I'll make a full recovery."

"Thank God for that."

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"Eventually, they say."

"Eventually means what? Days, weeks?"

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"Keep going."

"Months?"

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"The physical therapist just left. He says the rehab program they're going to put me in is designed to restore full motion in like seven months."

"Holy cow. That long?"

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"Yeah. I'm all busted up, Oscar."

"Man. That's awful, sweetie. I'm really sorry to see you like this."

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"OK, I need your help and advice, and I need it before Paula comes back. She's going to be here at 4."

"What the hell, Stella?"

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"She stays here pretty much all night. She's like Kathy Bates in Misery. She's my best friend, except she's always making threats. I can't wait to get out of the hospital so I can be rid of her."

"So you're moving out, then."

[Oscar DeBarataria]

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"Yes, thank God. When I get out of here I'm moving back in with my parents, at least until I can go back to work."

"That seems like a positive development."

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"OK, but Oscar? I'm actually terrified Paula will kill me before I leave this hospital."

"Is that the morphine talking?"

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"She keeps promising me that if I go to the police about what happened, it'll be the last thing I do. And if anybody else does it, I'll pay for it."

"So that's why Katie refuses to talk about cops."

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"I know it's not fair to drag you into this, but getting my dad to take me back in was a huge win in itself, and I don't really want to push that, and honestly, you're the only other man in my life that I would trust to help."

"What do you need?"

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"Well, Paula has stolen the French Maid business from me, and she's hired a couple of strippers to take over the houses. They did the Wendell house yesterday and Mrs. Wendell sent me a text that wasn't much of a review. If I sign, like, a power of attorney or something over to you, will you take it back from her?"

"This is literally the last thing I want to do, Stella. I can't turn you down, but I think I might have actually told you 100 times that I don't want to run a cleaning service."

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"I know, and I'm sorry. But Amber and Katie can..."

"Nope. I got both of them out of the French maid business. But I will hire you some maids, and we'll work on finding a way through it until you're back on your feet."

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"OK, and the other thing is this: and I know I sound paranoid, but I need a bodyguard."

"You really are terrified, aren't you?"

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"You have no idea what it's like. This morning she told me that if I ever want to get up out of this bed I'd better be a good girl and do exactly as she says. And then she told me she needed me to swear out an affidavit saying that Amber and Katie were turning tricks instead of cleaning houses."

"I can't even..."

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"Look, I know. It's beyond crazy. But she's pressuring me hard."

"Stella, you're in the hospital. Tell the nurses you don't want her around."

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"I did. It didn't work! Three hours later she was back, and the nurses wouldn't listen to me. I think Paula has snowed Dr. Steve into thinking we're best friends since childhood and that I don't really mean it when I say I don't want her around."

"Smells like a massive lawsuit against the hospital."

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"No kidding, right? But at this point I'd just be really happy having a bodyguard sitting in here so Paula gets, you know, curtailed."

"I'll ask around and see if I can find a guy."

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"Thank you, buddy. You're the best!"

"I gotta tell you, Stella, seeing you like this is making me homicidal."

She just gave me a knowing look.

[SexTypeThing]

Nice pictures! With dolls like these beauties who needs real girls right?

STT

[Oscar DeBarataria]

Nice pictures! With dolls like these beauties who needs real girls right?

STT

I've known more than one real girl very reminiscent of Paula, which is one reason why there are dolls at my place.

[SexTypeThing]

Nice pictures! With dolls like these beauties who needs real girls right?

STT

I've known more than one real girl very reminiscent of Paula, which is one reason why there are dolls at my place.

I can imagine! I myself still dating (more like hunting) for a few days only and my lovely dolls make me very indifferent to them when they act all crazy or moody.

STT