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What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

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IslandDog
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What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by IslandDog »

Hey all!

New to the forum (and to dolls). I'm a young film student at a university in Canada who is interested in the doll community and interested in creating a short documentary about the hobby to both normalize and explain it to the public who might be scared or freaked out by the hobby.

Basically, I have found that the vast majority of media out there about the doll hobby and the community is negative, and I think that's pretty terrible. Even as a beginner in all this, I know that the doll community is so much more nuanced and positive than a lot of the press it seems to get, so I want to try to help change that stigma.

I know that sounds ambitious, and I'm not asking anyone to jump on board without proper vetting, but I do want to hear it from other members of the community as well: What do you think causes the negative stigma against doll owners? How might it be addressed?

I'm asking because I want to clarify my target goal for the film - sort of my thesis statement. If I better understand the problem, I can create a better film to help address that problem. I want to be clear I'm not here to profit from this or make a giant media explosion - it's just a small step for a small filmmaker that I hope will help an often looked down upon community.

Thanks in advance! I know how supportive and loving this community can be, and I'm hoping to get some good discussion going! Feel free to chime in as well with what you'd like to see (or not see) in a hypothetical pro-doll documentary.

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by Dollfriend »

Although this is Changing at a Fast Rate, In my Opinion many People still associate Sex Dolls with the Age Old Open Mouthed Inflatable Sex Doll, they are not fully Aware Of the New Proliferation of Realistic Looking Beautiful TPE Sex Dolls coming out of the Far East. Although an infinite List of Reasons can bring you to this Hobby, someone not interested would probably have a Difficult time wrapping their Head Around Having Sex with an Inanimate Object. :mrgreen:

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by ZannyDanger »

I think it's definitely the sex part. Even though everyone and their mother watches porn, very few will openly admit it... society is weird like that.

People are quick to marginalise anything involving sex since it's taboo for some reason.

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by IslandDog »

ZannyDanger wrote:I think it's definitely the sex part. Even though everyone and their mother watches porn, very few will openly admit it... society is weird like that.

People are quick to marginalise anything involving sex since it's taboo for some reason.
That's definitely true. It's weird how we are okay with graphic violence in movies and yet sex is completely taboo.

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by IslandDog »

Dollfriend wrote:Although this is Changing at a Fast Rate, In my Opinion many People still associate Sex Dolls with the Age Old Open Mouthed Inflatable Sex Doll, they are not fully Aware Of the New Proliferation of Realistic Looking Beautiful TPE Sex Dolls coming out of the Far East. Although an infinite List of Reasons can bring you to this Hobby, someone not interested would probably have a Difficult time wrapping their Head Around Having Sex with an Inanimate Object. :mrgreen:
For sure! Although I'm not sure if to the mainstream having a more or less realistic doll would make it more or less taboo. I think obviously more realism is great for the community (for some people, at least!

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by Stewie studmuffin »

There are probably lots of reasons for this taboo about dolls.
Probably the biggest reason is the perception that dolls are simply "unnatural" and are only for "losers who can't find a real woman."
While that may be true for some of us, the vast majority of doll enthusiasts are some of the best and brightest people one could ever hope to meet. Definitely NOT losers. So such negative assessments are not only extremely naive but very unfair. :(
The media and popular culture are mostly to blame for this as doll lovers are always portrayed as a bunch of kooks or weirdos.
Here are just a few examples that I have seen:
1) The guy with a doll is shown as a pathetic loser who can't find a woman with a search warrant.
2) Doll guy is a psycho or serial killer.
3) Or a fat, bald guy who is all of the above who lives in a dump with beer cans and pizza boxes all over the place along with Nazi flags all over the wall. :roll:
So as you can see, doll lovers are rarely (if ever) shown in a positive light. :(
No matter how pretty she is, there is a guy out there somewhere who is tired of her shit!

Girlfriends are for guys who haven't found the right doll yet.

I feel much better now that I've given up hope.

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by Mark Spencer »

Start with the 'fact' that sex is only for procreation, and anything that interferes with
that process is a mortal sin which will land you in hell to suffer torture by fire for
all of eternity without mercy .. and the people who believe this are ok with it.

Those are the people who make these judgements.

With that in mind, it isn't too hard to see why it isn't discussed openly more often.
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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by SinsuaLuvr »

It seems to me that people outside this lifestyle fall into one or more of the following categories.

Close minded
They are religious or old fashioned or conform to all the "group think" set of social norms, morals and values. These also are usually opposed to bi/gay/ gender or ethnicity equal right issues.

Jealousy
Yes, amazingly a lot of people, (spouses or girl/boy friends) can feel a doll is a threat to their relationship. Amazingly this jealousy aspect can remain prevalent in singles or couples who are in polyamorus relationships, swingers or other fetish, BDSM, hedonistic "open minded" people.

Misunderstanding/Fear of making connections to inanimate objects
These are the ones that cannot understand how meaningful, emotional, or romantic feelings can develop between a person and an object. These people often rationalize that it is not healthy since the object cannot ever return feelings or contribute to a relationship.

Objectification
Dildos, vibrators or male masturbatory sleeves are considered chic, mainstream and mostly acceptable form of sexual expression and exploration. However, if you add a head and limbs to any of that and now you are dehumanizing or taking advantage and degrading sexual relationships.

Oddly enough, it also can be perfectly normal to get emotionally attached to cars (even naming them), homes, or even our phones and electronic devices. We miss them if they are apart from us. Our dolls are no different. Dolls fit many different needs. They are companions, lovers, and friends. They give us security, a shoulder to cry on or always a listening ear. Dolls can serve as emotional and physical rehabilitation and mental therapy from bad experiences, relationships, disabilities or conditions like autism, or depression.

I'm sure you will get other input and insights. They are wide, varied and deep here. I wish you luck. I'm not sure how we can change many of these perceptions except to show that we are people. We are your neighbors, your coworkers and family members. We are not to be feared, mistrusted or chastised. We don't need to be fixed. Just try to accept us (and our dolls) as we are.
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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by Hollywu »

BRAVO! Very good and insightful question! BTW - Thank you for wanting to do this! I was getting my Anthropology degree over 20 years ago and did most of my research on "tattoos." Believe me, it was very taboo back then and now... Just look around. If I was in school now I KNOW I would do my research on dolls! ;) I'm hedging my bets that we will see this be way more mainstream in 10-20 years.

1) I think many cultures tend to fear and then sometimes even "hate" anything that deviates outside of their cultural norms/personal experiences. I can also speak to this as many people find me "taboo" for 2 reasons - A) I live with mental illness (Bipolar) and B) I fall under LGBT. These 2 things about me often make people feel uncomfortable. Sadly, there is a ton of misinformation about both of these things. I wish we all could focus more on our similarities vs. our differences.

2) Not knowing anyone with a doll. When you know someone who has something different from you - you learn a lot more about that person and where they are coming from. I think of a friend of mine who is in a wheelchair. She's one of the bravest and most bad assed, big hearted, creative, animal loving, wickedly funny folks I know. Yet, for many, seeing her in a wheelchair might make folks feel awkward. They focus on how drop dead gorgeous she is and that she's in a wheelchair. She is a HELL of a lot more than just another pretty face. To me she's "Mandy" my buddy! She just is using wheels to get around vs. walking. Maybe if I didn't know her as well, I might feel awkward around folks in wheelchairs. Actually, having an invisible disability myself, I am more prone to approach folks because I never want anyone to feel left out like I have so many times.

3) Misinformation - Only seeing the concept of dolls as sex toys. Not really doing their homework and finding out there is a lot more, in many cases, then meets the eye. For some of us our dolls are our synthetic spouses. My doll and I are "married." She helps me on so many more levels than I could have ever imagined. Every person will have their own unique story!

4) Jealousy... I am going to throw this out too. Think about being in a relationship with a doll. The doll will not - 1) cheat on you; 2) wipe out your life savings say on gambling 3) give you an STD or get pregnant. 4) Mistreat you or abuse you 5) Not let you do - name it - i.e.) Keep models you are working on all over the kitchen counter, not care if you have scrap wood all over the patio that you are working on, have unusual pets that many would be scared of. So if you think about it - you have a lover without a lot of drama that the majority of "haters" have to put up with and live with each day so I am betting some of these folks are kind of jealous of our rather much more lower drama lives!

BTW - If it's any help - I'm a 49 y/o female. There are a few of us here with our dolls. My doll is female.

I wish you all the luck in the world on this. Please keep us posted and if I can be of any more assistance, feel free to reach out to me as I would love to help you with this very worthwhile research project.

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by jerryr708 »

If a man has sex with a doll, he is desperate enough to stalk any lady and try something against her will.
Most dolls portray young girls and only a pedophile could love them. Keep your eyes on your kids when he is around.
He likes sex dolls, so all you ladies, make sure that you don't wear anything revealing because that perv is going to try and sneak a peak at your breasts or try and look under your dress.
I bet that guy with the doll fetish has holes in his pockets while just standing there looking at the girls.
That figures a guy like that would like sex dolls...just look at him...I don't think he has ever had pussy a day in his life.
What do you wanna bet, that guy has a small wiener is why he resorts to sex dolls.
Anybody that has sex dolls is antisocial and not capable of having a real relationship.
Anybody who would spend that kind of money on a sex doll is a desperate sex fiend and only thinks about sex 24/7
I think he might go both ways and likes to play dress up with his dolls. You don't see real men playing with dolls.
I wonder if he is a drag queen and shares wigs, makeup and clothing with his doll. He has more doll accessories than his own wardrobe.
He must be a scared, weak little man that can't handle a real woman and this is his way of feeling hes in control.

We are starting to accept a lot of things, men with men and women with women, but when it comes to having sex with dolls, we have a little ways to go.
So...until then, my doll is not ready to come out of the closet just yet.

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by Ownerfckdoll »

Very interesting question.

I have no data on this of course, so I can only give my opinion based upon my gut feelings even though I know they are filtered though my own biases.

Over the last couple decades, if you look at internet discussions regarding life size realistic sex dolls, things HAVE changed. While I think a majority of discussion threads (outside of sex/fetish friendly sites and of course doll sites like this one) still tend to slightly lean negative, they are no where near as negative as they were even 10 years ago. I mean today, you can find threads that actually lean towards positive (with just a small handful of negative comments). But go back to discussion threads from 10 years ago and messages where nasty, hateful, spiteful and down right vicious towards dolls and more so towards any guy who would own one.

My unscientific view of this is that it started with women. And I believe because women want to control sex (at least how often, kink level, where, when, etc.). So in this, prior to life size dolls, there really hasn't been a satisfactory "sex toy" for men. However, dolls change that. They can hit a guy on many different cylinders. Not just the physical sensation, but the visual sensation of having sex with a woman who is a perfect 10. Let's face it, most guys masturbate while watching porn. Their hand (or fleshlight or some other similar sex toy) provides the physical stimulation, while the video provides the visual. A doll provides both. So in this, I think a lot of women see a gorgeous realistic sex doll as a major threat. It threatens to weaken their control of sex, and they see it as something they can't possibly compete against. I mean a perfect always ready never say no submissive absolutely gorgeous sex slave? Their insecurity tells them they can't possibly compete with that, and honestly they can't, IF they don't even try to give a man what he really wants. So they attack viciously.

I can't count the times I've read things like "How much of a loser would a guy have to resort to buying a doll? Well girls, at least that's a loswer who's out of the gene pool that we don't have to fear". And that's a tame example. Then of course, to try to not look like they are a looser, a 100 guys will jump on the thread to try to sound all "alpha" by saying things like "Yea, it's real thing for me or nothing. Any guy who would by a doll is pathetic". Now half those guys or more would probably happily fuck the hell out of a doll if they had access to one, but they have to go along to try to sound all "alpha".

So I think that's why the bias started. One of the things that has kept it like that for so long is that we don't know how many guys out there own a doll but you know nothing about them, because they don't say a word. I would estimate that out of all the dolls that have ever been sold (and growing exponentially with the introduction of the sub $2000 TPE dolls), that the number of messages/photos/posts from doll owners are coming from probably only 1% of the owners out there. And well, I hate to say it, no offense guys, this obviously isn't everyone, but many of that 1% who do post, do seem to fit that "loner/beta" stereotype. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong or bad about being that, but just that socially awkward, has trouble with women, etc. stereotype. So because many of the 1% who do post about their dolls, do at least a little kind of fit that stereotype, the needle of the bias towards doll owners being that beta/looser type of guy has not budged for the longest time.

How many successful, good looking, more-alpha type guys are there out there in the other 99% of doll owners? Know body knows, and one might ask, why would a guy who should not have trouble getting women need a doll? Well.. who do you think hires those porn star-gorgeous-super hot-$1000/hr escorts? Sometimes those successful/rich/alpha type guys don't necessarily have THAT much better luck with the women than anyone else.. either that or they just don't want to bother with the hassle and drama of even trying, easier to just pay the $1000 and be done with it. So in that regard, would it be unfeasible for them to buy a doll? I think not.

But none of them have publicly come out, due to the stigma/negative bias. Finding out that some super good looking a-list Hollywood type owns a doll would go a long way to turn the negativity around.

However, as I started out this message, whatever the reason, the negativity is way down on it's own. But still a ways to go, but the needle is moving in the right direction. :D

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by Meso »

Short answer: I don't know.
Long answer: I think, because the American norm views the current (and future "scary") solid dolls as an extension of the porn industry, which by the way is not funding this industry - if anything, the porn industry sees dolls as competition, and a threat.
It comes down to the incredibly fast pace of how doll manufacturer's are modernizing the dolls, and how manufacturers, vendors, and dealers are not advertising. Until they're ready and willing to use their resources and advertise in mainstream America, they'll always be in the shadows, and dark rooms of adult only establishments.
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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by SynthetikReality95 »

religion probably. not singling one out, but that's my guess

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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by AhMyDolless »

The hand. It doesn't want to be replaced by a female figured screw machine replacement. So the hand tells the brain that dolls are pathetic enough times so that one believes it, to the point they are compelled to share this "truth" to the world.
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Re: What do you think creates the taboo about dolls?

Post by Obin »

Reading what's been posted, I feel I should think through anything I might want to add.

I recently found a site that appears to sport very open discussions. I'm on my phone, so I'll just post the link to the thread I used. I think you should consider posting to that site in order to collect a wider range of views.

Here's the site. https://www.quora.com/How-can-you-tell- ... PR-sex-toy
jerryr708 wrote:If a man has sex with a doll, he is desperate enough to stalk any lady and try something against her will.
Strawman fallacy. Of course, that's what I figure you meant to convey.

I went back to that site to see whether similar questions had been asked. I do poorly on my phone but did find this.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-that-wh ... -love-doll

Guess what? I didn't see that folks referred to the OP as a menace to society. The responses appeared to be sincere attempts to give helpful advice.

You could also go to SA. However, there, folks could find a way to describe chocolate cake as vomit.

I think the bottom line is, there are folks who want others to fit in their box. Others, who understand and feel comfortable with folks who differ from them can have respectable regards for folks who enjoy dolls. I think the answer to your question is that some feel irrational intolerance that relies on fallacious ideas. (Redundancy intended for emphasis)
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