Realdoll versus Mail Order Bride
Moderator: TJ_Foxx
Realdoll versus Mail Order Bride
For someone who has given up looking for a lady.Would you consider getting a mail order bride compared to buy a realdoll?
Reason i asked this question was the amount of time and money it cost for both.Realdoll cost you 6k+ and a mail order bride around say 4k when all said and done.
So have any of you guys ever considered the mail order bride route compared to a realldoll?
As a matter of fact, I DID once consider this option and I assume by "mailorder bride" you mean flying in a girl from outside the USA..
When I was an adolescent, I did not have a girlfriend while all of my friends evetually got one and weren't calling me anymore. They were so busy with their relationships that no one even thought of trying to line me up with a chick of my own. Those were the days before the internet and dating clubs and there were only a few "lonely hearts" columns in a few newspapers.
I found out about a free publication produced in, IIRC, Washington state at the time called "Cherry Blossoms". It was a small monthly magazine that carried photos and letters from mainly Asian women looking to meet US guys and come to America to be their wives.
I found a few of the girls listed rather attractive and began corresponding with them. Most spoke and wrote English well and I eventually had two girls, one from Malaysia and the other from the Phillipines, that I was considering "importing".
But, eventually, I gave up on the idea for several reasons.
First, the one way airfare from the Orient to NJ at the time was close to $1000 USD and that was a lot of money for me back then. Next, I would have had to promise to marry a virtual stranger who I'd only seen photographs of. And, finally, I did meet an RG in a nearby state and got a relationship going with her.
Over the years there have been a lot of scary stories in the news about older American males who decided to import an Asian female for companionship / marriage / sex. In these news stories, the guy would pay for the girl to come to America and expect her to arrive on such and such a day and date. But, the female would simply change the arrival date on their ticket, land here, and then be picked up by a network of fellow country people here who would provide her with housing untl she could get a job. The guy would arrive at the airport on the expected arrival date only to realize that he had been bilked out of the price of an airline ticket to import another illegal alien into the good ol' USA. Needless to say, these scams made many a lonely guy very depressed.
I'm not suggesting that happens with every case, but I would definitely recommend tha the guy actually visit the girl in HER country before he makes a decision and then, if she is acceptable, get married there and return together to the USA. There was one guy in a news story that narrowed his search down to three girls in the Phillipines. He went there and dated all three and then selected the one he found most attractive, married her there, and returned with her to the USA. This approach helps eliminate the possiblility of being victimized, but it will, unfortunately, cost the guy more money.
technoguy
With your experiences and stories you told.I guess you could compare them to people waiting 3 or so months for their doll.And it ends up damaged and the company doesnt want to fix or exchange it.
My question,as far a the order bride going there and marrying her there,couldnt she do the same thing once she got here?And thats leave and go to whatever people?I dunno, i was reading about the horror stories of the mail order bride scams and what not.And compare to some of the stories i have read on here.With people ordering dolls.
Either one is a big leap i would say.They both will change your life in one way shape or form.
I was seeing the comparrison.But,yes i can see the greater degree of a wife you dont really know.But its the same for the doll,with the damage aspect.And i am sure it would take some time to get use to a doll and peoples reactions to it.
I dont think all doll owners could or will be accepted as well as in the movie Lars.That comapred to a mail order bride,you would still catch some words,but not as much as you would get a doll.
I am trying to compare to 2 prospectives.
imo, a rd is not a replacement for a rg. perhaps for a short term, but not a permanent replacement.
a mail order bride ? why a broker ? cant you just travel to the country of your likes, and hang out a while at clubs, etc...... would take some time out of you life, but least you wont get screwed outta $$$$ with a broker deal and have a pretty good vacation.
A few simple points:
All RGs will end up costing more than any doll. That is true whether you marry them or not (unless----you are just talking about a short time affair. Even there, you risk emotionally and financially).
On that note, RGs hurt emotionally sometimes (they can walk). Dolls do not walk. She will never leave----nor want to leave. Dolls do not cheat------nor want to cheat.
Mail order bride horror stories are about all I have ever heard (did you see the movie 'Birthday Girl'?). I think the risk vs. the locating of happiness is crazy to consider. A high quality doll wins in that scenario also.
Finally, you can customize a doll any way you like her. She is bound to be even more beautiful than you can imagine (this is the reaction of many a doll owners when the arrival day arrives----for me too!). Mail order brides may end up looking nothing like the photos you see.
Just some ideas to think about. Good luck friend.
Foxy
I think there are two main aspects. Where one is in one's life and What does one need or want from life. And linked to both is one's own personality and character. Furthermore comparison of a RG and RD is like chalk and cheese.
I am a father and grandfather - now kids really are expensive - If you want a family forget the RD as they won't produce.
If you want company when going out (theatre, dining, holiday, etc), with rare exceptions eg blackbear is planning to take Ewa on a hunting trip, a RD is not the go.
If in your life a wife or partner is 'advantageous' - and I use that word reservedly - for say work or social activities, again a RD is not suitable.
If we are talking about sex, a passive companion, a hobby, something to keep one busy, being alone but not lonely, then a RD is the better option. But they are not much good at conversation or for getting an opinion!
If by mail order bride you mean using an introduction agency either for an overseas or home grown partner then I have done both primarily as I'm not a party type, have few friends and 'small talk' is alien to me but essential for that all important first contact. Both resulted in reasonably long term relationships (exceeding 7 years) and both ended in divorce which proved very, very, costly. No regrets - been there, done that, didn't work (well except for 2 good kids and 2 lovely grandkids).
Of course there are 'horror stories' of overseas 'brides'. One has to keep one's wits about one, be on guard, ask the right questions and get a 'feel' for the intentions of one's intended. But there are a lot of genuine girls out there seeking the same as you. Mine was a Russian / Ukrainian woman. Of course she wanted a better life in a 'western country' and I was her ticket in, but she also wanted a relationship.
Incidentally it was me who 'walked' in both marriages plus in a defacto of 6 years in between. Maybe it was a RD I wanted, needed, all along?
So what do you want and what is your need. If the above has not given you food for thought then use this - If money and sex are the driving factors, you are reasonably comfortable with your own company or you are a loner type of guy then a RD is a very serious consideration.
Good Luck
Tash’s Gallery
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I throw in my point of view as a aspiring doll owner (saving up for a RD, I do have an HVG to hold me over until then). I think it depends a lot on your age and prior exprerience. I'm 55, a "loner" type of personality at home as I enjoy my quiet time to think and do what I want to with my time. I have no kids and never really wanted any. I have been married three times, and all were great women, but I just didn't fit into the marriage model, and finally figured that out. I am a social person, but I like to go out and be around people on my terms, then go home to my privacy.
If you need or want to have input from another person and feel uncomfortable with being alone with yourself for extended periods of time, I would say that a doll by itself may not work for you. I know it would work for me, but I don't want to start a family, and I like my own company enough to be alone for long periods of time.
Finally, I would point out that a doll won't kick you out of your own house, wreck your credit, or get a restraining order against you. That's on the negative list of possibilities of a relationship with another human being...male or female.
It also won't share the happy times with you, support your ideas or thoughts, help you make decisions, celebrate life with you, take care of you if you get sick, or ever say "I love you" except in you imagination, or help you do the common work chores in life.....cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc.. In fact, you'll have more to do to take care of the doll.
In closing...finally ...Why a mail order bride? There are plenty of dating matching services around so that you could meet a RG locally, get to know her, and who knows? I wouldn't write off the idea of the RG totally. I haven't even still. I always leave the possibility open because there is no doll in the world that can replace feeling loved by another human being.
As a footnote, I was proof reading my post and reading my own profile when I realized that I sounded like the neighbors talking about somebody being arrested as a serial killer or something. "I can't believe this...he was always a good neighbor. Kind of quiet and kept to himself a lot. You never see him having company."
Jeez...the cops will probably show up to dig up my lawn someday !
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I think you make a good point. Before a guy starts looking in the Orient for a mailorder bride, he should consider finding one locally.
Nowadays there are all sorts of dating clubs and online matchmaking services that can get you exchanging emails and then phone calls with lonely local women. With any amount of luck a guy can find a suitable female in probably less than six months.
There are no guarantees that it will work and, of course, there are no guarantees that he will be happy with a doll no matter how much it costs.
Life is full of risks. Neither RGs nor dolls are perfect and that should be kept in mind at all times.
At the end of each day, I thank God that I had another day of life with an RG with whom I am compatible and hope that the next day will be the same. I have many friends that are not as lucky as me and it bothers me.
Yes, I want a high-end doll for some fun and games that my RG can not or will not provide and it is a bit frustrating to me not to have one. However, I also know that if I never do manage to get a doll, then what I have now will suffice until I take my last breath...
technoguy
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I agree with you on that...any relationship that is going to work needs to have some mutual interest from the start that is maintained and grows. And, there should be some obvious evidence of that mutual interest right at the beginning.
For example, the RG should make an effort to show up on time for dates, return messages left on answering machines and via email, and try to initiate conversation. This, of course, also applies to the guy.
I learned the hard way in the past not to spend even one minute in a relationship that was not mutual. Such "relationships" only wasted my time, emotions, and, worst of all, my cash! Life is just too short to play head games with people. I'd rather have an RG to tell me "up front" that she doesn't feel any "chemistry" for me than to make the announcement a dozen dates later or to just start playing "passive aggressive" games with me (like not answering the phone, always busy, etc.) and hoping that I'll somehow "take the hint".
technoguy
He said:
There is another point about a RD, and, to me at any rate, it is kinda scary.It also won't share the happy times with you, support your ideas or thoughts, help you make decisions, celebrate life with you, take care of you if you get sick, or ever say "I love you" except in you imagination, or help you do the common work chores in life.....cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc.. In fact, you'll have more to do to take care of the doll.
When making Love to a RG the greatest pleasure always (yep no exceptions) was not the act itself, pleasurable though it may be, nor MY coming. It was, in fact, the Knowledge that I had given pleasure - sometimes great, sometimes small but nevertheless pleasure - to my partner. If I felt or even sensed my partner was not enjoying the act or faking it my erection would simply vanish.
With a RD that aspect is removed. That is the feeling (call it pride or whatever) of giving someone "Le Petit Mort". I miss that - profoundly.
My imagination does not stretch far enough into thinking an orgasm for Tash. An RG's orgasm in one's arms is just too special.
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I've had both overseas and international girlfriends from most social strata. Most guys are clueless when it comes to meeting and maintaining the relationship.
I'm dating someone who's asian but speaks English very well and has two college degrees. We still have a ton of cultural issues. It's amazing once I look through her perspective how I see her point. I can also see how she misunderstands mine. The dolls have become a non-issue but these are areas that can bring us closer or push us apart.
Being accepted in the community is a big deal. I'm not the most social person and doing these 4 hour parties when you can't speak the language can be uncomfortable. The payoff is there's some really good people out there that take care of each other.